For most of my high school career, I participated in every play production we did. Starting my freshmen year, Theater became a big part of my life. I did nothing but theater. Later on, in my high school career, Junior Year or so, I decided I wanted to continue to be a part of theater for the rest of my life. It has helped me become who I am today and I did not want to give that part of my life up. As searching for colleges began, I decided on a Theater Performance Major.
Fast Forward to my Freshman year in college. I have been taking mostly theater classes for my major. I declared a minor, which is education. I am loving what I do. I went from participating in two to three shows within a semester in high school to only participating in exercises in class. I have many reasons on why I haven't been in any productions yet but they do not matter. One day I was feeling really down, I had been stressed for a while and started to get depressed.
Someone, who works really close to me, asked "Why haven't you auditioned yet?" and I replied, "I have other obligations to take care of right now.." They said, "Well why are you even a Theater Performance Major if you aren't going to audition for anything." At that moment I had to hold my tongue. I thought "How dare this person question me on what I am doing and not doing", "What if I have other things to do besides auditioning right now?." I took that to heart, I got teary eyed but let it be. Since that day, which was about a month ago, I have tried my best to avoid that person. I have given myself pep talks and realized that I know what I am doing and what I am ready for, no one else does. I cannot believe I let someone else determine how I feel about something I love dearly.
Since then I have become a part of a wonderful "family." I've been working on a show called 'Red' by John Logan and teching for it. "Teching" is a big part of what brings a theatrical show together. When you are teching, you are either working backstage handing the actors props, changing costumes, etc. or you are working lights or sound, whichever you are stationed for. I was stationed for backstage help. I have met some of the most amazing people while doing it too. They have helped me realize that I do not want to change who I am and what I want to do with my life. In the short time, I have been a part of this production, I have felt a sense of belonging and it is because of the people I am working with. I cannot thank them enough for all that they have done for me. I love and thank them dearly.
For the those who that have or are doubting themselves because of what someone else has told them or has made them feel, DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. You are the only person who can determine your future, you decide what you want to do and what you love. Do not let others determine your destiny or what you do with your destiny. YOU HAVE ALL THE CAPABILITIES, TALENT, etc. THAT EVERYONE ELSE DOES. Don't let anyone else determine that. BE yourself.
