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23 Thoughts Every Retail Employee Is Guilty Of Registering

Sadly, if you know, you know.

Kristyn Park

Jul 23, 2018

West Chester University

401

23 Thoughts Every Retail Employee Is Guilty Of Registering

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I paid my dues to the food industry for the first five or six years of my life, and just this past year, I've taken the plunge into retail. It's definitely been different, but I think the experience has been a positive one...for the most part.

Like with any job, retail has its snags, and with those snags come those darn intrusive thoughts that nearly every retail employee has had at some point:

1. "There is a rack for you to put your clothes on RIGHT THERE, KAREN."

And yet, she still just throws all her crap on the table for you to deal with :) And everyone else follows her lead :)

2. "I'm not going to buy any new clothes. I have plenty. I don't need anym--WAIT, WHAT'S THAT?!"

3. "I sound like a high-pitched squeaky robot. Who even is customer service me?"

4. "Humanity is terrible and I hate everyone."

Usually thought after a particularly bad experience with a customer or after someone comes in five minutes to close.

5. "Sure...set your things down on the counter in front of me, even though I'm clearly doing closing down this register."

Really. I LOVE IT.

6. "IF I HAVE TO EMPTY THIS HANGER TRANSPORTER ONE MORE TIME."

7. "If there's no customers left in the store, would it really be so bad to close early?"

Sadly, we have responsibilities and standards. Ugh.

8. "Who do these people think they are showing up right when we open? Were y'all waiting outside or something?"

9. "Yes, just leave your clothes in the dressing rooms when you're all finished. It's fine."

NEED I POINT OUT THE GO-BACK RACKS AGAIN?

10. "Did this tag just fall off of something or did someone steal something?"

And do I have the time to go all Sherlock Holmes?

11. "Oh, this isn't so bad right now. I thought it was going to be busy."

12. "SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING. MUCH REGRET."

13. "Where do all of our short-sleeves go? Do women buy them all? Is it a black hole? Who knows?"

The mystery that keeps me up at night.

14. "Please just send me to the back where I can drink my iced coffee in peace and not be bothered by anyone."

15. "How much of my paycheck just ends up going back to this store?"

Majority, probably.

16. "If someone put out my hold bag, I will LITERALLY CRY."

Clothes are the only thing that brings me joy.

17. "I better have a good closing team tonight, or I'm walking out."

18. "My fashion sense has drastically improved since I started working here."

19. "It's two minutes past close, please leave now."

20. "My coworkers are dummies, but they're my dummies."

Well, most of them anyway.

21. "Do I have enough time to get coffee before my break ends?? Screw it, I'm getting coffee before my break ends.

22. "This place is my f*cking favorite."

Usually after my boss buys us pizza and leaves it in the break room for us.

23. "Okay, I guess I kind of love my job."

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23 Thoughts Every Retail Employee Is Guilty Of Registering

Sadly, if you know, you know.

In This Article:

1. "There is a rack for you to put your clothes on RIGHT THERE, KAREN."

2. "I'm not going to buy any new clothes. I have plenty. I don't need anym--WAIT, WHAT'S THAT?!"

3. "I sound like a high-pitched squeaky robot. Who even is customer service me?"

4. "Humanity is terrible and I hate everyone."

5. "Sure...set your things down on the counter in front of me, even though I'm clearly doing closing down this register."

6. "IF I HAVE TO EMPTY THIS HANGER TRANSPORTER ONE MORE TIME."

7. "If there's no customers left in the store, would it really be so bad to close early?"

8. "Who do these people think they are showing up right when we open? Were y'all waiting outside or something?"

9. "Yes, just leave your clothes in the dressing rooms when you're all finished. It's fine."

10. "Did this tag just fall off of something or did someone steal something?"

11. "Oh, this isn't so bad right now. I thought it was going to be busy."

12. "SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING. MUCH REGRET."

13. "Where do all of our short-sleeves go? Do women buy them all? Is it a black hole? Who knows?"

14. "Please just send me to the back where I can drink my iced coffee in peace and not be bothered by anyone."

15. "How much of my paycheck just ends up going back to this store?"

16. "If someone put out my hold bag, I will LITERALLY CRY."

17. "I better have a good closing team tonight, or I'm walking out."

18. "My fashion sense has drastically improved since I started working here."

19. "It's two minutes past close, please leave now."

20. "My coworkers are dummies, but they're my dummies."

21. "Do I have enough time to get coffee before my break ends?? Screw it, I'm getting coffee before my break ends.

22. "This place is my f*cking favorite."

23. "Okay, I guess I kind of love my job."

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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