“You have called me higher, you have called me deeper, and I’ll go where you will lead me Lord."

I sang the words in Friday praise chapel. My heart and mind were racing as usual. It was the end of another long week, and I was still recovering from a concussion that had made me late on homework and unable to go to work or cross country practice. I had been feeling one step behind all semester. Anxiety and loneliness were all too familiar.

Then I sang this song. Called me higher? Called me deeper? Why? Why do I have to go further? I’m already running on empty. I don’t have anything left to do, Lord, please don’t call me to be even more uncomfortable.

I was desperate for rest, crying as I sat down in my chapel chair. I gave up, and the song began to take on a new message for me.

God was calling me higher and deeper than I would ever choose to go on my own. But He wasn’t asking me to try harder or be more. Instead, He was calling me to embrace what He had already given me.

I think most of us can say that what is expected of us is more than we can handle. Whether that pressure comes from someone else or ourselves, we are all fighting to reach certain expectations. Yet nothing seems to be enough to heal our weary, broken hearts.

But we do not need to despair in our tiredness. Be comforted that you are in the exact place God has called you to. Discomfort is to be expected, but God is sovereign over all and He does not call you into hard work, He calls you into a hard leaning into Him. He is the rest you need and desire.

How has God been putting you through hardship lately? How have you responded to this? Let your heart collapse. In dying we live.