About a year ago on February 11, 2015, I lost one of my very good friends to suicide. Below is how I hope she feels now that she is no longer trapped by what was burdening her down here on earth. I am in no way shape or form glorifying suicide. This is a depiction of how I hope she now feels, for it gives me peace believing that she is now free. Meggie Royer's "The Morning After I Killed Myself," is about a girl who commits suicide and immediately regrets her decision. Although that is Royer's opinion, I want to think that my friend is looking over me and happily with God now free of the hurt she was feeling here on earth. This is my response.
The morning after I killed myself I awoke in my bed.
I rubbed my eyes, and yawned. From my bed, I could hear the faint noise of a lawnmower and birds chirping. I moved the covers off of myself and I got out of bed.
The morning after I killed myself I got out of bed.
I got out of bed. Something that was foreign to me. Something that throughout the past three years felt nearly impossible. I no longer felt shackled to my bed, unable to move. I felt free like a leaf blowing through the wind on a crisp fall day.
The morning after I killed myself I got out of bed.
I got out of bed, put clothes on, and without shoes, I ran outside. When I opened the door and took my first leap outside, I gasped at how the sun felt on my skin and the way the fresh air circulated through my lungs. I could finally breathe without feeling like I had cinderblocks piled on my chest. I ran as fast as I could through my front yard with my arms out wide like I was running towards a best friend I hadn’t seen in years. I felt the cushion of the grass on my feet, and I couldn’t help but collapse in enjoyment.
The morning after I killed myself I got out of bed.
I got out of bed and I sat outside without a worry in the world. I listened to the birds chirp and for the first time in a long time I realized the happiness that was radiating through my body. To my mother, father and especially my brother who is still in disbelief that I am gone, know that whenever you look around and you see the grass blowing in the wind, or you feel the comfort the warmth of the sun gives you, know it is me who is there at that very moment with you.
The morning after I killed myself I got out of bed and for the first time in three years I finally was at peace.
In Loving Memory of Leanna N. Draghi Sept. 9, 1994- Feb. 11, 2015
