I have always been one who appreciates and confides in a good book. I curl up on a rough day and escape from reality for a few hours with my favorite fictional characters. There’s been a specific few books that have helped me in some of my toughest of times, books that seemed to be placed in my life exactly when I needed them. In particular, "Perks of Being a Wallflower" has, without a doubt, helped the most. I’ve read it countless times and always seem to learn a different, yet meaningful lesson. In this book, the main character, Charlie, writes a series of letters to “a friend,” I can’t help but feel like Charlie is confiding in me and trusting me with some of his highest and lowest moments. He even opens the books off with, “Dear friend, I am writing to you because she said you listen and understand and didn't try to sleep with that person at that party even though you could have.” It’s vague and nonspecific yet it feels personal and sincere. He needed someone to talk to and he chose me. I thought since this book and Charlie’s letters have helped me so much throughout the years, that I would write a letter to Charlie, explaining what he’s taught me and thanking him for his insights.

Dear Charlie,

Thank you for trusting and believing in me when I couldn't even believe in myself. You wrote me and said “I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn't try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist.” And they do, I sat and read your letters for hours on end with an open mind and a broken soul. I didn't know how much your letters would change me or how much they would teach me, but looking back I would be a much different person if I didn't have your blatant words of encouragement and blunt ways of explaining your problems. Throughout the course of your letters you went through so much, and I can’t thank you enough for taking me with you on that journey. There were plenty of ups and downs in your life, and there were just as many ups and downs in mine at the same time. I know at times you felt insane, but during those moments you made me feel the opposite, you made me feel sane. You banished my loneliness. I thought the problems I was facing were irregular and something to be embarrassed about but you showed me that some days I’ll feel lost and that’s okay, and others I’ll feel as if I’ve figured everything out, and that’s okay too.

You taught me what it’s like to be a true friend and to have true friends. Which are two very different things. You also taught me what it’s like to lose a friend, whether it be physically or emotionally. You taught me how to pick myself back up and move on even when it feels like my world is falling apart. "Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody." I learned that it’s okay to be emotional and just let it all out from time to time; that it’s okay not to completely understand why my parents do the things they do, or why people just aren't nice sometimes for absolutely no reason. You taught me that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

Throughout your letters I learned that thinking too much can kill, and that I’ve got to learn how to shut my mind off from time to time to stay sane. You taught me that we accept the love we think we deserve. We take on so much bad in this world because we think we don't deserve the good. We treat ourselves like crap and let ourselves get treated like crap because we think so lowly of ourselves and don’t appreciate how amazing and breathtakingly beautiful we are, inside and out.

Music saves lives, and you’re the one who taught me that. You turned to music for refuge, which led me to do the same. After reading your letters I learned how to love music so much that a concert or a good record could turn my day around and change my mood for the better.

You helped me realize that I was a wallflower, and that a wallflower is an amazing thing to be. You taught me that wallflowers and ordinary people can feel infinite too, and that our past doesn't define us. You welcomed me with open arms to the island of misfit toys. Charlie, you’ve taught me so much that it would be impossible to fit it all into one single letter. Thank you so much for trusting me with all of your deepest and darkest moments, and with you’re beautiful, lovely and happy ones as well. You made me feel significant and important and that’s exactly what I needed.

Charlie, I want you to know that I am both happy and sad, and I’m still trying to figure out how that can be. Thank you for everything.

Love always,
Melissa