I made a handful of resolutions for the new year. I thought, perhaps, if I kept the list brief, my objectives might actually have a shot at becoming achievements. Spoiler Alert: They haven't. My first resolution was to go for walks each day. The second was to rediscover recreational reading. The third -- to eat healthier. The fourth -- to simply do better. Lastly, the fifth, to actually keep my resolutions, which, as this article will elaborate, was broken as early as the first day of 2017's January.

I am a victim of myself in many situations, especially when it comes to adhering to my own goals and ambitions. I am sure this holds true for most people. I am sending out an air hug to all of you who know the struggle. It is a common idea; you are your own worst enemy. Well, let me tell you, I must really be out to get myself because I have been dealing with a discouragingly significant amount of failure lately. I have not gone on walks each day. In fact, I have been on one walk. It ended quickly. I conveniently broke my shoe and fussed at myself when I realized I was happy about it. Admittedly, I routinely roll out of bed around 11:30 each morning with little regard for my outward appearance as I sluggishly stumble into my only class of the day. I find an excuse to nap as soon as the class is over and the moment I wake up, I am dying for human interaction, so I run to my friends and bury myself in conversation, movies, food, and beverages. Of course, when nighttime comes along, you just cannot go for a walk. Okay? You just can't. It's dark and there are werewolves. It's a valid excuse. See what I am doing here? This is habitual. I feel like I inhale and exhale explanations as to why I cannot follow through. As for reading, I read about half of Amy Poehler's book, "Yes, Please," which I would highly recommend to any admirer of truth and humor in the real world. Anyway, I read half of it, and that may be all, because once I put something down, whatever motivation it entails tends to fly out of the nearest window only to never return. So sad. My third resolution was to eat healthier. I know "weight loss" is not an appealing quest, so I am tricking myself by changing the wording. I'll let you know if anything comes of it. Anyway, I have yet to even take a crack at this one. For all you Spartanburgers, I ate Wade's and Fuji today. No to-go boxes resulted, just happy plates. My fourth resolution -- to simply do better -- has been broken in so many ways, I truly question my capability as a human being. I promised myself I would be stronger. Alas, I was crying about something petty within ten minutes post ball drop. I broke someone else's phone yesterday. My room is a wreck. I cannot find anything. I have yet to read for class. I am 21 years old and I swear I found a gray hair on my head yesterday. Folks, 2017 has been nothing short of a train wreck and it is only the 8th of January.

My resolutions have been horribly neglected and I could be so upset with myself, but I'm not. I expect that you expect some brilliant philosophical rationale for why I feel okay about my failed resolutions, but the answer is pretty simple. I knew I would break them. I am 21 and free floating. I know I am not the only one. I know that there is a coming year in which I will be able to stick to something. But, new years' resolutions are demanding. They ask you to do something all year. They ask you to maintain motivation. It's a commitment. If you're my ex, you can vouch for me when I say that this is not one of my areas of expertise. Sometimes, I will go for walks, and sometimes I won't. One day, I will pick up that book again, but it will not be tomorrow and probably not the next day either. Sorry, Amy Poehler. You know I love you. I might eat healthier, but I cannot give up every restaurant that blesses my palate. Spartanburgers, you know how hard it is. Think about it. Wade's? No. I am way too fragile to rip something so crucial out of my life. As far as doing better, I may not be, but I am. It is okay to fall short of my designs. It doesn't make me a failure, it just makes me more aware. Also, I know that, just because I have done poorly thus far, it does not mean that I cannot begin again tomorrow. For all of you who are struggling with your resolutions, it is okay. Truly. Think about it. January 1st was a new day like any other. I will make a deal with you. I won't go to Wade's tomorrow if you hold true to one of your resolutions for the day. If I can do this, you can do anything.

Perfection is what resolutions tend to ask for and perfection is something I will never have.

"Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier" (Amy Poehler).