How many times have you been asked "How's school?" this winter break? I can picture the scene perfectly. You head over to the snack table at Aunt Judith's annual Christmas party to grab some cheese and crackers when you realize your overenthusiastic Uncle Chuck is about to corner you. It's too late! No place to run, no place to hide. Time to face the dreaded questions about school, life, and your "five-year plan."
I gave almost the exact same answer to everyone who asked me these agonizing questions. "School is okay! I don't love it, but I don't totally hate it either. I'm just trying to explore all of my options. Riding out this crazy tidal wave we call life!" Followed by a nervous laugh and smile, of course.
Most of the question-askers responded similarly. "That's great! You've got so much time! Explore your options, find your passion, do what you love!" And while I would love discovering what path I'm meant to take to be that simple, unfortunately, I don't think it is.
There are so many things that cloud our ability to discover our passion or find our path in life. For instance, our peers. Sometimes, I look around me and feel like everyone knows what the next ten years of their lives look like. When they are asked about their dreams and passions, they can answer without a second thought. I'm stuck sitting here thinking, "Dreams? Passions? The next ten years? I don't know!"
Something that I am very slowly, but very surely learning is that "I don't know" is a relatively appropriate plan to have at this point in my life. I have been so stuck planning for my future for such a long time that I haven't taken a moment to realize how important the present is to have a successful future.
I am rarely present. I am always thinking about the next step. There can never be a moment of rest because that is a moment of opportunity wasted. This winter break and all the boredom and tireless hours spent lying in my bed thinking about life that has accompanied it has made me realize that it is okay to not take advantage of the next step. It is okay to not even know what the next step is.
My "resolution" for 2016 is to be more present, and I encourage others to do the same. Don't be afraid to answer those invasive relatives with "I don't know Aunt Patty! I'm only an 18-year-old trying to be present and figure it all out!" You don't need to have a plan. I mean, you should think about what you want in the next five-to-ten years of your life, but you shouldn't let it consume the present. You should allow it to be a motivator, but don't let the weight of your impending future block your success in the present. Move forward into the new year being more present, less sure of your plan, and ready to conquer whatever the new year has to throw at you.
