Perfectionists have this constant drive to accept nothing less than the best. While it has helped me accomplish many things, I sometimes wish I could flip a switch that granted me freedom from the nagging desire to reach ever higher and keep going, even when I just want to relax.
In order to stay sane, we perfectionists need to remind ourselves of some very important pieces of advice that I am sure we have all heard from our loved ones at one point or another.
You can say “no” to people.
Your mental health should always take priority, even if that means you have to stop concerning yourself with little details and relinquish some control to others. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t fulfill your responsibilities, but I’m reminding you that you do not have to go above and beyond on every commitment. We all have limits, and you should recognize what yours are.
Your happiness and mental well-being should factor into any decision you make, so remember that you need to take time for yourself once in a while. It’s so easy to spread yourself thin by giving into the demands of others, so don’t let other people dictate how you spend your time.
You don’t have to have it all together.
Admitting our flaws is difficult because we fear failure. We don’t want to give off the impression that we can’t handle what we set out to do. In those moments when we realize we have fallen short of our intentions, our sense of identity and belonging is lost. Who are we, if not the ones who exceed expectations every time?
Asking for help, or at times, accepting complacency, is OK.
Stop bottling everything up inside. It’s OK for others to know that not everything is put together 24/7. You don’t have to do it all on your own. There are plenty of supportive, loving people in your life who want to help you. I know it can be hard to admit you can’t do it all on your own, but speak up when that weighs you down. Let other people give the help they offer. You are not a burden, and you are not a failure. You’re human.
Other times, you just have to accept things as they are. Many factors lie beyond our control, and it is just fine to accept that and move on. Do what you can, but don’t spend time worrying about things you cannot change. That does not fall back on you.
You are more than your reputation.
If you have this drive to achieve perfection, chances are, the people around you know it. Don’t feel as if you let them down when you cannot keep it all together. They love you for who you really are, beyond the pressure you feel to achieve perfection. Those who love you know your heart, your mind and your personality They see what is hard for you to see in yourself: the beautiful qualities that make you who you are. That alone should boost your confidence in yourself and your abilities.
You can’t make everyone happy.
It’s impossible to please everyone’s demands. As long as you give your best effort and respect everyone involved, there is no reason to feel disappointed in your work. Not everyone realizes that their opinion is not of superior importance, so don’t take their criticisms seriously. If you feel satisfied with the amount of time and effort you put into something, then that should be enough.
Not everything has to be over-the-top.
Believe me, I know how powerful the desire to overachieve is. It is hard to imagine giving less than your best effort on anything, but there are times when you need to resist the urge and settle for average. Yes, our drive serves a purpose in the workforce because it sets us apart and allows us to accomplish lofty goals. However, at times, we should take a lesson from those who do not strive for perfection on a daily basis. Not every instance calls for an above-and-beyond response. Give yourself a break when the situation allows.
There are times when I take pride in my drive to succeed. No matter what I commit to, there is no doubt I will follow through on what I promise and give my very best. I expect nothing less than the best from myself, which propels me into successful endeavors. I, too, need to remember to step back every once in a while and give up my compulsion for control.
