Oh the innocence that once belonged to 14 year old me. When everything small seemed so tragic and life seemed to be at its most complicated. It's quite funny how life can seem so crazy in the moment and just a few short months or years later, those problems become so distant. I can still remember my attitude towards most things in life at that point. I truly struggled with how I felt about myself, my life and everything surrounding it. Those precious years in a young girls life when everything becomes about who likes who and who has already gotten their first kiss. Everything was a competition and it was all about what others thought.
If only I could go back in time and tell that young girl that her life was not even starting. That all the emotions she was feeling and the problems that seemed so big, would soon be just a distant memory. But sadly for us that is not how time works. Time works in a way that heals and hurts but ultimately all it can do is move us forward. Even when the one thing we want is in the past, time knows that what we need is that push. I wish I could assure you that looks truly are not everything. That the amount of boys that like you do in fact not make you better, what matters is if the one right boy likes you. You spent so much time dwelling over the things you did not have that you truly lacked the ability to see all the things going for yourself.
You won best dressed and why do you think that happened? It happened because people noticed you and you stood out to them. You had a goal and you achieved it and I remember the happiness it brought. I wish I could go back and tell you to grab that happiness and keep it with you, because the life ahead of you is filled with that plus much more and much less. You will have days of sorrow and days of sadness. Days that are filled with love and laughter. Most of all you will learn that the girl you were and the girl you are is not who you are going to be. You have the power to better yourself and be the best version of you. And who is stopping you? Stop looking around at others and comparing the mind and the body that God gave you to those around you. I wish I could warn you that not all guys are good ones..no matter how they seem. Men will say anything to get what they want from you and as strong as you say and think you are, you will sometimes believe them. Believe the lies and fall in love with the mysteries they have to offer.
I wish I could remind you to pay close attention to who you are because along the way you will lose yourself time and time again. On days when it seems like all is lost, remember that you got to that place and you will eventually leave that place. Most of all eighth grade self, I order you to LOVE WHO YOU ARE. You are perfect even on the days when you aren't. You are loved even when no one tells it to you. You are unique even when you feel like a face in the crowd. Be proud and be you.
