If you’ve come to this article because you’re looking for relationship advice after seeing "college" and "dating" in the title, I’m sorry to inform you that you’re about to be incredibly disappointed with what you read.
That brings me to the first point I’d like to make: There is a huge difference in dating and being in a relationship, and people my age don’t understand that. The lines have been blurred, distorted and I’d even go as far as to say mutilated by things like "Netflix and chill," "sliding in the DM’s" and apps developed for the sole intention of scoring a one-night stand.
We’ve forgotten, or maybe never really properly learned in the first place, that dating is supposed to be casual, or that going on a date doesn’t mean you’re committing to a relationship, or even that the premise of going out on a date is about getting to know someone better rather than trying to get a free meal or into someone's pants. We’ve forgotten that just because people learn and grow from heartache and pain in relationships, it doesn’t mean that everyone should have to experience it.
We’ve forgotten that you don’t have to put yourself in the position to be hurt if you really, genuinely, put your needs in front of your wants, and accept that working on yourself and being single is perfectly OK. Meaningless fighting, arguing and potential cheating (God forbid it doesn’t happen to you) are all things we’ve gotten too comfortable with settling for in relationships.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a firm believer that there’s someone out there for everyone. I believe that, logically, there are exceptions to anything and everything. I believe that real forgiveness, and acceptance of that forgiveness, transcends the damage done by cheating, and that fighting and arguing are things that can be worked on and worked through in a committed relationship.
I’ve just also recognized that college is no time to be in a committed relationship, and all the work that comes with them, good or bad, is just added stress to the daunting task of balancing school, work, other relationships and life in general. Simply, we should all open our eyes to the fact that in college, we don’t know ourselves well enough to be able to presented to someone else with the hopes that they like what they see and hear enough to spend the rest of their lives with us.
College is a place for trial and error dating, to figure out exactly what it is you’re looking for in someone you’re willing to start a life together with. If you can come to accept this fact and work on yourself, your health and your friendships as hard as you do dating around and finding your significant other, your life will improve in ways you didn’t think were possible.
