Seven short months ago I was sitting in my parents' kitchen having a conversation with my dad that has changed my life as I know it now. "Why don't you try moving to Texas?" I had just yet again for the umpteenth time ended my on-off toxic relationship with my ex of three years and I was looking for a new chapter in my life. Was an out of state move the change I needed in order to escape the toxic cycle and to finally push the restart button?
The last three years of my life had been a whirlwind to say the least. Of course some of it was my fault for even staying in such a relationship and I had recognized that, but as most people know toxic relationships are the hardest to get out of. For starters, my ex and my mom worked together and that is how he and I even met. And second, they were (and still are) best friends! It made it extremely difficult each break up to not restart the cycle as we were constantly still seeing each other. Not only that but despite everything my mom still wanted us to end up together.
We had been off for the majority of 2021, in fact he went into another relationship with someone else just a month after we ended it. Although I had not gotten into any serious relationship, I wasn't opposed to going on dates and meet new people and I actually had found it refreshing. During this off time of seven months I really began to thrive again. But of course, the cycle found itself back again. The cycle did not last long, just a short two months and it was back again to square one.
It was beginning to become obvious that staying where I was in life wasn't going to give me the different outcome I wanted, and so I was searching for a new plan. I was nervous about moving far from home but I had done it once before when I moved to Phoenix so how hard could that be? Now, when my dad mentioned Texas I wasn't thrilled. I had only been to Dallas on layovers, so I really went in blind. What is in Texas and is it worth it to uproot my life?
I knew I was ready for this change, to meet someone new with all the opposite traits of my ex. I had been more than ready, but in the past my heart had always held out on the chance that things could be different. They never were. I was going to have to be the change I wanted to see in my life. I was going to have to take that chance, by myself and for myself. I was going to have to grow my own lemons.
Seeing as I had never even truly visited Dallas or had seen what was out there, I decided to take an unconventional look. I downloaded the Hinge app and set my location as if I was in Dallas. What happened next I could never have anticipated...
