I know I am not the most normal looking woman. I have lived the last few years of my life being bald. I was diagnosed with Alopecia as a child, but had hair until I was 20 years old. Its been two years since I lost it, so I've gotten used to the stares, glances, and laughs. I have worked hard to come to the point of acceptance I am at. I work to spread awareness and acceptance for this disease. I have gotten rude comments and questions before, but none quite like my most recent experience. A few days ago, I had just completed a workout, and headed straight to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Since I had just come from my run, I was just wearing a bandana on my head instead of a wig. I didn't think much of it, as I do this often.
I was in an aisle, and noticed a lady giving me a very dirty look. This is something I am used to, so I did what I normally do; smile back. She then responded to my smile with, "You know, you shouldn't go in public like that. Save yourself the embarrassment and cover it up." I was floored. I looked right back at her with a little laugh and said, "I'm sorry I offended you with my medical condition, ma'am," and I went back to my shopping. She then scoffed at me and stormed out of the aisle.
I was shocked, but thankful. I was thankful that she said this to me now, and not two years ago. If this had happened then, I would have been so broken. I was thankful because she made me realize how strong I have become. Instead of breaking into tears and running out of the store, I held my head high, responded to her nicely, and went about my day. I was thankful she said this to me, and not someone who can't handle it. I know many people with the disease who would be very upset and very hurt by words like that being said. I am happy that I hopefully gave this woman an opportunity to learn something instead of giving her the satisfaction of bringing me down.
I refuse to hide who I am. I am a bald girl, and I am proud of it. I no longer want to make myself uncomfortable or extremely inconvenienced just to fit other peoples idea of beauty. I did this for some time right after I lost my hair, but I will never do it again. I am perfectly happy being the way I am, and I really don't understand why anyone else would care. I have gone back to the same store with just a bandana on since, and done so with confidence. I won't let this woman take that away from me.
Yes, I wear a wig most of the time, but it's not because I am ashamed of who I am. I just prefer myself with hair. I prefer to not be defined by my disease, and to have hair. This doesn't mean I am hiding or trying to cover it; it's just a cosmetic choice. I am proud of who I am, and feel I can rock being bald, just as I can rock my wig.
I hope people are aware of the hate and ugliness that is in our world, but also of the ability to be strong. Be strong for yourself, be strong for others. We can do things to change hate, but to some point, a rude person is a rude person. The more love you can spread, the less hate that can be seen.
