To My Past Self,

There comes a time in your life when you must take a moment to reflect. The last seven years have been long and at times, tough, but you pushed through, and that is all that matters. You need to be proud of yourself and accept that you made it. You stayed strong and never gave up in the face of both successes and failures. The failures are the most important, because if it were not for them, you would not have learned and grown through these experiences.

There are various people that have come into your life, both good and bad. This has helped you to be able to tell the difference between the people you want and need in your life and those who are only there to tear you down.

The decisions you have made have brought you to the place where you are now. Some have been good, others terrible. But if you did not make some of those bad decisions you would not have become the strong person that you are. It has been a hard lesson to learn your limits and when to take risks. You have tested some of your limits, and sometimes things have gone severely wrong, but that is alright because those mistakes are just more learning experiences.

You have always struggled with authority, and it seems as though you have learned to pick and choose your battles, when to stand up for yourself and find your voice and when not to. I know this lesson has been tough, but it was necessary and it brought you to this very moment in time, to the person who you are now. You are moving on, starting a new journey, and the best way to do this is to make sure you continue to feel this newfound confidence in yourself and accept the past.

That being said, there are definitely some lessons that you needed to learn that would have made things 10 times better -- to appreciate all opinions; even if you do not agree with them; that books are not just books but also have structural and metaphorical components; that other cultures have hardships that deserve to be appreciated; and finally, that it is okay for others (and yourself) to challenge your thoughts.

First things first, you do not know everything, and you will never know everything. It is impossible. I know it is hard to understand that idea, but the faster you learn this, the better things will be. That being said, when others are giving their opinion you need to take the time to listen -- and I mean actually listen, not just hear the first few things that someone says, form your opinion on it and check out of the conversation. You need to give people a chance to say the things that they need to say. I know that it can be difficult sometimes to listen and not speak right away, but it is something you need to learn to do sooner rather than later.

That means taking time to process the information that someone is telling you as well. There is a difference between listening and understanding and just plain ole listening. If you understand what someone is saying and where they are coming from, it will usually lead to a better conversation, as well as better communication from you about your own view points. If you do not know what someone is trying to say or what he or she means, you should ask him or her for further clarification. You can look really bad if you fly off the handle with your opinion, especially if you are misinterpreting things.

You also need to hold your facial expressions. When listening to someone, they will notice your change in facial expression. That means that if you have a horrible look on your face because you do not agree or understand, the person you are interacting with will pick up on that, and it does not tend to be highly thought of. You need to respect people and their thoughts.

Take the time to communicate with the professors who are in your life. They are extremely knowledgeable and most of the time, they will tell it like it is. They won't beat around the bush. You may not agree with what the person is saying, but you have to give respect where it is due. Being able to entertain a conversation with someone about various topics in which you each have your own opinion means that you are an adult and capable of thinking and growing within yourself. Once you master being able to communicate properly and listen, this advice will help to broaden your horizons. Your interpersonal skills will grow and evolve in ways that you would not expect. This will come in handy as you grow older and come across moments in your life and career in which discretion and patience is needed. I want you to remember that even though you take the time to listen to other's opinions, you can still be true to yourself and have your own thoughts. I am not trying to change you, I am just trying to help you to become more interactive and easier to relate to.

Now, I know how much of a love for reading you have. It is something that you hold near and dear to your heart, as you should. Reading is a release for you and helps you escape the various trials and tribulations of reality. The fact that you just read a book to read and do not look for anything more than a story is amazing and wonderful. However, it is not the only option when reading. There are other things that you should pay attention to -- like the structure of the text and the underlying metaphor of the story. Most authors tend to write with a purpose, and many times that purpose is not clear within the text. You have to look and dig deeper. In doing that, you may arrive at a surprising conclusion. I do not want you to think that, by looking more closely at a book's structure or metaphor, you will lose the storyline or not pay attention to the story, because that is not the case. I just want you to allow your mind to grow. By paying more attention to these components, you can get more out of the story that you are reading. The appreciation that you will have for the author and why they are writing will become incredibly important. You may even find that when going back to books that you have already read, you will read them differently, looking more into the text and the underlying tone. A future outcome of doing this is being able to provide better and more in depth literary criticism.

Another thing that you need to come to terms with is the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around you. There are other people who live in the world and experience things that you have no understanding of. The fact that you choose at times to be ignorant to others and their hardships is a problem. You need to take the time to listen to others and the things they have gone through and learn to appreciate them. I am not saying that you are inconsiderate of others, because that is definitely not the case. You are always making sure you look out for other people and help in any way that you can. But I am saying that, rather than jump to conclusions as to why someone may act a certain way, take a moment to think that maybe they have been through something horrible, and perhaps that is why they act the way they do.

There have been plenty of instances when someone felt a certain way towards you and you thought to yourself, “Well, you don’t know what I have been through; how dare you treat me like that or tell me how to feel.” You need to get out of that habit too. You are not superior to anyone and you do not control how people feel about things. You have no right to tell others how they should feel. You need to realize that the various things people have gone through make them the people that they are, and you know this based on your own experiences and who you are. Some people are strong, some are weak, but we are all human and entitled to have our moments. By taking the time to consider and appreciate the various experiences that other people have gone through, you grow as a person and become more emotionally connected to others. You never know who needs a friend or just someone to talk to, and being able to have that empathy and sympathy can make you that person.

Other cultures have gone through trials and tribulations, and that needs to be taken into account as well. You cannot have the same mind set as other white people, thinking that various other cultures just walk around with chips on their shoulders and that nothing is really wrong. This would make you ignorant and arrogant, and you are not that type of person. Those are two words that you do not want to exemplify. Show compassion.

You and I both know that you are extremely stubborn. There is no denying it; it is something you come by honestly. In some cases the stubbornness is a positive thing; in others not so much. Your brain functions based on fact and science, which can be difficult at times when you need to think about things in a nonfactual way. When people try to question your thoughts or make you question your own thoughts, it's like a bomb goes off inside your head. You get very angry, totally ignore the task at hand and tune everyone out, thinking that you know what you know and that is all that matters. At times, this still occurs, but not as frequently.

I just want to tell you that it is okay for people to challenge your thoughts, and it is okay for you to question your own thoughts as well. But you need to take time to stop and actually think about what you are being asked to do and consider that you may be able to look and think about things in different ways. It is okay to challenge yourself. If you did not have those moments, you would not grow as a person or grow cognitively. Allowing others as well as yourself to challenge your thoughts enables you to gain more knowledge and broaden your horizons. This will come in handy when you are in tough situations that will be coming your way -- and believe me, they are coming. Just remember: even when you challenge what you know and believe, make sure to always stay true to yourself, even as you are growing as a person.

With all of that being said, I just want you to know that I understand that you have been through some extremely tough times. You have seen things that no one should see, experienced things that are unimaginable, and it shows. Just remember that you are who you are for a reason, and that you can be anything you want to be as long as you set your mind to it.

Sincerely,

Me