I’m a feminist. I stand with my fellow sisters, picket signs in hand, fighting for my right to equal opportunities. We fight for women, both those who have a voice and those who don’t.

The common perception of the term “feminist” has lots of connotations, many of which are negatively observed by the public. “Condemning,” “overly-sensitive,” and “man-shaming” are just a few terms I (and many others) been called because of our beliefs. The norm has become a society based on anger and accusation.

And this kind of society has always been the norm. It is not uncommon to feel as though the only way to protect yourself is by accusing others. Given this, too many of the comments that foster this kind of negative environment for women come from other women.

In a time when it is so important for the female population to stick together, we resort to tearing each other down in order to feel as if we belong. Why do we feel this inherent urge to hurt each other?

This is where redefinition comes in.

It has been a common theme lately to define yourself as either feminist or non-feminist. The constant tension between the two groups has become ever-present, especially with the Women’s March last week. Hate to tell you, but whether or not you consider yourself a “feminist” has become irrelevant.

The issue has become so much larger than that. What matters now is the love and mutual respect (or lack thereof) we have for one another and the decisions we make, even if those decisions conflict. Are we still able to look past our differences to start cultivating a positive and empowering world for women?

I see this conflict most prominently in the differing ideas women have on work vs. family. Some feel as though they would rather stay home and raise children, fostering a family built on love and care. Some would rather work hard and build a career in which they can grow and feel empowered through.

But God forbid a woman tries to have a family AND work at the same time. Blasphemy! (note: sarcasm). All paths are valid, even if it’s not necessarily the one you would want.

Your success is not defined by which path you choose or how you decide to go about your future.

To the woman who would rather raise a family, I support you.

To the woman who would rather start a powerful career, I support you.

To the woman who wants to do both, I stand with you.

Love and respect the choices that others make. Worker or mother, college grad or not, be firm in your decisions. Stand together and rise above the petty or catty. We are one; all deserving of love and respect. Own it.