I have flown in my life a ton! In the last year, I have spent roughly 70 hours on a plane — give or take a few. I never seize to amaze myself with some of the things I think about. Let’s face it, flying isn’t ideal, it’s uncomfortable and exhausting and, unfortunately, I cannot afford the comfort of first-class. So put your mind at ease because if you are thinking some of these things, trust me, you’re not the only one!
1. I should’ve paid the extra $20 for more leg room
Every time I get on a plane, usually the window seat if I can help it, I always bring a personal item that is way too full. I stuff it under the seat in front of me and then I squeeze my legs on each side of it. So uncomfortable. I spend hours searching for the cheapest flight and once I am on the plane I regret it. The extra $20 for more leg room would totally have been worth it. Next time, right?
2. Is this baby going to cry the entire flight?
There is always the crying baby. Believe me, I love kids. But there is nothing more annoying than a 4-hour flight with a crying baby on board. Especially when that baby sits directly behind you and kicks the back of your seat to fulfill their temper tantrums.
3. Panics that I forgot my headphones
No matter how many times I check prior to my flight, I still panic every time when I frantically search for my headphones. Honestly is the worst — long flight + no headphones + crying babies = the biggest nightmare.
Plus, I refuse to ever pay the airlines for the cheap and potentially used headphones they offer on the flights. You know, the ones they always offer, and everyone knows are an option, but no one ever actually wants to use them.
4. What on earth is this tiny-ass fold-down tray even good for?
Okay, not all airlines have this, but some airlines have this tiny metal fold-down tray on the seat in front of you. It’s not even half the size of a notebook. Every time I come upon these useless trays I question their existence. My laptop doesn’t fit on them, a notebook doesn’t fit and I even question their ability to hold the paper cup of free juice they offer me. Guess I will just use my lap.
5. Politely tries to ignore the old lady making small talk next to me
There is always the chatterbox that sits next to you. Maybe you helped the elderly woman put her carry-on in the overhead bin and she just thinks you are a doll or it’s the middle-aged man that is questionably hitting on you. It’s never an ideal situation. The person next to you will most likely not be your future husband or new best friend. Frequent flyers have mastered the “polite but uninterested” small talk. (Insert earbuds now.)
6. I should’ve got drunk at the airport bar
Flying can be so stressful. Whether it's from the crying babies, the talkative neighbors or simply the flight attendant’s redundant speech about how to buckle your seatbelt, I never fail to question why I didn’t get drunk, or even slightly buzzed, to make this experience less horrid. The $10 airport beer totally would’ve been worth it.
7. *Hits turbulence* This is how I die…
I know I can’t be the only passenger that fears for my life the minute we hit turbulence. The plane is bouncing around and I hope the lady next to me doesn’t hurl. But every single time I think to myself “this is how it ends.” Obviously 99.9999% of the time it’s fine. I did not die, get sucked out of the plane or crash and burn. Everything is fine, just breathe.
8. The flight attendant isn’t panicking so we must be okay.
Usually when we hit turbulence, or when the captain comes over the intercom and says everyone needs to sit down and fasten their seatbelts, I immediately peep the flight attendants. If they aren’t freaking out, everything is okay.
9. Regretting not investing in a neck pillow for the 50th time…
I always check out the neck pillows at the airport or see them in the store or on Amazon. But nevertheless, I refuse to buy one. I just can’t get myself to spend $20 on a neck pillow. Of course, it’s easy to say no when I am not uncomfortably trying to sleep on the plane with a neck cramp or trying to use the tiny fold-down tray as a pillow. I should’ve invested. They should probably start selling neck pillows on flights — I’m sure they would be a hit for everyone regretting this same life decision as I am.
