Here's a complete list of all the reasons why males should never, ever consider putting makeup anywhere near their faces.
1. Makeup is for girls.
Come on, guys. Seriously? Everyone knows that various forms of powders and gels, items which are completely non-gendered, are only for girls. Only girls are allowed to enhance their natural beauty via varied mixtures of water, beeswax, castor oil, and titanium dioxide. It's common knowledge.
2. Makeup looks completely ridiculous and unnatural on guys.
In what world would you ever see a man walking around, just looking like this? He looks downright silly! You can just see how ridiculous he looks with his beautiful cheekbones and flawless eyebrows! It's just too weird.
3. Girls don't like guys who wear makeup.
If you're a guy who wears makeup, (like Gerard Way) you're totally never going to attract the attention of thousands of girls (like Gerard Way.) You won't get married to a beautiful woman and end up with a beautiful daughter and a successful career (like Gerard Way.)
4. There's just no reason for guys to wear makeup.
Yep. Men, listen to me: there's just no real reason for you to put on makeup. Not to express your insane amount of creativity, not just to have some fun, not to enhance the natural beauty that radiates from you, not to feel more secure about yourself, not to practice stage makeup for your career in theatre, and definitely not because makeup is a gender-neutral product designed for people of all genders to paint lovely features upon their bodies, with which they can do whatever they please. Nope! No reason whatsoever!
