I just got back from a class trip in New York City, which ended up being the craziest, longest, most ridiculous week of my life. Living in close proximity 24/7 with people in my class, many of whom I wasn't really close with before the week began, really put a strain on everyone at times. Luckily, I was with some great people whose company I enjoyed immensely, but despite this, we still got sick of each other towards the end of the trip. It took my somewhat extroverted self a while to realize that you don't have to grab every single meal with friends or always sightsee with a group, but I'm so glad I did- taking myself out on a date produced so many emotions and experiences that I never would have otherwise received. So here are my top eight reasons why it's okay, and healthy, to be intentionally alone in situations.
1. You get to hang out with yourself, and learn more about who you are as a person.
This is key. If you're constantly surrounded by a group of people, you will always act and think in the way of the group. But you are an individual, and you're pretty great. I finally got the nerve to take myself out on a date on the last night of NYC, and it was honestly one of the best dates I've ever been on. This isn't a dig at any exes or other boys, but it's true; when you realize how to do you, it's life changing. Doing you is the best.
2. You get to experience new things.
See the bomb hot dog stand over there that really appealed to you, but didn't to anyone else in the group? When you take yourself on some intentional alone time, feel free to indulge in how ever many hot dog stands as you want, because you are a strong, independent individual capable of making your own decisions. Go you!
3. You get to carve out some time for personal reflection.
This may sound a little odd, but being able to look back on where you're coming from, where you're at now in life, and where you want to go is so key in establishing a good path in life. Self-reflection is underrated, and being the cool, independent person you are, you should partake in it once in a while to achieve a sense of balance in life.
4. You get a new perspective.
Wandering alone, as opposed to with other people, is an entirely different experience. With other people, everything is filtered through their perspectives. This can be such a great thing too, don't get me wrong. But it can be refreshing to discover your immediate opinion on certain things, instead of having it filtered through others eyes first. When you realize this, your reaction will probably be similar to the one below:
5. You are forced to live in the present.
When you are having fun with friends, it is natural to want the whole world to know. Depending on who you are with, a fraction of hang out time inevitably ends up with trying to take the perfect Insta pic, or creating endless Snapchat stories. When you're spending time intentionally by your lonesome, this pressure is erased.
6. You are inadvertently strengthening your mental well-being.
A thing I noticed the most after I went through a breakup was the fact that I did not know how to be alone. People grab coffee by themselves?? They eat food alone during lunch breaks?? Normal things seemed so foreign to me, and this realization made me start taking myself out on dates. Discovering how okay you are alone is really beneficial for your mental well-being, and strengthens your sense of self immensely. Plus side: you don't have to shave your legs.
7. You might be able to save a few dollars.
It's no secret- being social can get expensive. And by taking some alone time when you otherwise would want to hit up the squad to go out to dinner, you can be saving a few dollars by not being tempted to split the appetizer or dessert that you didn't really want.
8. Finally, it's refreshing to remember your worth.
Your worth does not come from who you surround yourself with, how many of your friends' Snapchats you are a part of, or how many invites to hang-outs you receive on a Saturday night. You are a great person, and it's time you took some time to remember that.
In college, it may feel like if you're eating or hanging out alone, you're a failure. It seems like no one is there to dispose this notion, because they're all grabbing coffee or something with friends. But this is a gentle reminder for me and everyone else who needs it today: you are enough. You are fantastic company. You are, and will be, OK.
The amount of people you choose to hang out with or not hang out with is totally up to you, and either way, it's your decision and does not reflect on whether or not you're "cool" enough to have friends to constantly surround yourself. Granted, FOMO is a real thing, folks. But don't let that stop you from doing yo' thang!
