Music is something so near and dear to me that i'm pretty sure my anatomy is made up of some percentage of it. I'm also certain that my iPod earbuds will be worn to my grave. I was the little girl that learned to dance before she walked. Looking back at all the memories of  pretend dance routines, planning my future and going to “dance college”. I even did dance classes and can still feel the high I got every June on stage at the annual recitals. The bright lights shining down, being in my glittery dance costume and my shiny black tap shoes. Smiling so big and proud my cheeks stinging with pride when I finished the performance. I grew up expressing my feelings moving to music and as I got older, I shifted into making music. I played clarinet for 8 years. And yes, I got the same high playing every concert, every halftime show at the football games I played in. Despite how much I loathed those uniforms and how dorky I looked in them. I could express all day how much it means to me but that’s not the main story I’m writing about. Recently, I had gone through every playlist I’ve had saved since 2011. About 60% of those songs were ones I randomly came across from hearing on a movie, radio, or YouTube and just kept it because it sounded good. But the other 40% were not just songs. They were a part of my memories, they immediately played almost like a video clip in my head, down to remembering the place and the exact words that were spoken. Most importantly they reminded me about people that had an affect they had on me. Today, I’m picking out the artists that I listen to almost every day still and they are the ones that remind me of people that had impacted me. I’m also taking this opportunity to tell them how much they mean to me. Also if you're one of the 7 people reading this, thank you.  Alright here we go.

I Have a Dream - ABBA

Starting with the person that's been there for me from the start. You are the one I can go to for anything in the world, You’re the most selfless, caring, beautiful person and I feel bad that I don't say it enough. I aspire to be the even half the woman that you are someday.

It was the summer of 03’, I was 5 years old and life to me was beautiful and pure. My fondest memories will be waking up in my purple bed to the sound of ABBA music echoing from downstairs. My first instinct was to jump out of my bed, run down to the living room with my freshly tangled, long, curly brown hair. Rocking my baggy Winnie the Pooh shirt and swaying my little arms and body to “the hippie” song as I used to call it. The only lyrics I could remember from the whole song would be “I believe in angels” and every time I felt the line coming I would run to you and say “I believe in angels” with my hands holding together and twirling around. You thought it was the cutest thing and always would shuffle through all the different songs and encourage me to do different dances. But that’s pretty much how you raised me, you encouraged me to do what I wanted. Since I was so young I never really thought of how much I cherish such a simple beautiful moment bonding with you. 15 years later and we were out shopping, I played ABBA in my car and I sang along (terribly of course) and you looked at me like for a moment I was that hyper 5 year old with the tangled curly hair again. Thank you for the music (yes that’s an ABBA song) but no really, thank you. Thank you for encouraging me to dance, thank you for all the times you were there for me, and I could go on and on but I think I’ll just walk in the next room and hug you.

Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie

Hey, you’re the person whose known me the 2nd longest. You’re pretty much a sister to me and to this day we still talk so that’s pretty cool brought out the inner crazy kid in me out there, you’re so  confident and I’m still envious of it. You impacted my life by being the person to join me in transitioning from a kid to preteen. Ah yes, the days of shopping at Claire’s and buying endless obnoxious BFF bracelets to declare that we were in fact BFFs, wearing clothes with glitter and sassy one liners (because duh that’s what cool older girls wear of course). As older cool girls we also had to listen to the top hits. 

“ITS FERGIE” “whose Fergie?” I asked. “She’s the coolest singer how do you not know her? Listen to this!!” So I did, truth be told I didn’t think so but you liked her so I being the good friend I was I played along. It was January 2008 and it was your 11th birthday party. I remember being super excited to give you the Fergie CD for your birthday present. We had a few too many Fanta orange sodas and put on the CD and we were the lives of the party. and In that moment we were 2 small town girls twirling around, enjoying the moment, and celebrating getting older. Dreaming about how life will be greater when we get older.  it’s still not exactly my type of music. However i will still play it after we get off the phone for 2 hours remembering all the good times we had as younger kids (how cringeworthy we were at that age) in that old small town. but when you turn 21, I’ll make an exception and we will dance like those wild preteens again.

 Constant Crush - VÉRITE  

Ok so you didn’t actually share this artist with me, we found out by coincidence we both listen to her. But I’m still putting this in because you impacted my life. I consider you to be a really good friend, I admire your passion for what you love to do and you let no one get in the way of that. I know that you care a lot, and you helped me in the girl department a bunch in my teens....I never told you this but I considered you an expert and totally thought you could be a teacher on being a teenage girl because you were that good at giving advice. You were a person who inspired me to put myself out there. However stuff happened, we both hurt each other, we haven’t talked. 

I remember we were in class and I knew from the first 3 chords that played from your phone.... “IS THAT VÉRITE” I semi yelled, causing a ringing echo around the room. “Yeah!” you said. I was so excited because I was (still) obsessed with verite because her lyrics were so cold and dark, but were masqueraded with pretty melodies and upbeat tempos. Now that was recent in our friendship. I still think of class when I play any of her music. I feel bad, really bad. I really don't like how things were left off. But I also feel pain too and it’s just really mixed I guess. I know we were angry when we last talked, but I just want you to know that I don’t feel hate, in fact I miss you.

 Pin/ Scream - Grimes 

HEY....so you're the person I liked. I still remember meeting you for the first time and being weirdly nervous about it. Something in my gut told me that there was something unique about you and it freaked me the hell out. “I barely know this dude why is he giving me this butterfly feeling?” I thought. It’s funny I tried avoiding you for a bit and at first but one day we talked and....Can I just say that instincts are never wrong? You are the most interesting person I’ve ever met. Your stories and experiences are crazy and what made them better was you were completely casual about them. You’re open minded and truth be told? It’s what made me like you. 

I remember you gave me a ride home one day and you played music as always but I remembered that specific night you prefaced it with this “Now just letting you know, she’s weird....like really really weird” The song started with a girl singing in Japanese. “Ok it’s not too bad, just a different language” I thought. There's nothing weird about that.  But then towards the end there was a bunch of weird noises and literal screaming.... “what is this??” I thought being completely weirded out. But I said nothing because 1. It’s what you liked, so I respected that. 2. To be fair you warned me. 3. I was 17 at the time & like 17 year olds do when they find someone cool is they try to find what that person’s interests to be cool too. Then on a separate night you played Pin by Grimes. Now that song was definitely more my type, because it had a catchy, bubbly beat. I remember you telling me the story of what grimes was singing about in the song. It was actual a very sad and relevant topic happening in society. But it sounded so catchy, happy, upbeat. I played it on repeat when you told me the name of it, then I began listening to several of her other songs. I mean yeah she’s weird but so good and you know what? You kind of unknowingly taught me to be more open minded myself. Now it hurt when I told you I liked you and you said you didn’t feel the same. However I will always be grateful that you said no respectfully. Just know that even though we don’t talk much anymore....there was (and still) no hard feelings, and I hope you’re doing good and living life to the fullest like you do best. 

Arabella - Arctic Monkeys 

 Hey so I’ve only known you for like....a month and a half but wow  you’ve impacted me and honestly you probably have no clue. We talked and you caught my attention with your humor and your witty sarcastic lines. Also you’re pretty cute too I may add. You called me pretty and me being the smooth girl  I am I turned red and got laughed nervously. This sounds lame but you were the first guy to tell me I looked attractive and that was a big deal for me. Despite the silly jokes and the sweet compliments, it’s the night that we talked music that really made me like you. 

You shared a band with me that I never really took time to listen to. However when I looked them up, I listened to them and regretted not listening them before. It started with the few songs you told me to look up. I now have the entire album saved on my playlist....in fact I’m listening to 'Arabella' as I’m typing this and 'One For The Road' is warming up on me. I love our random discussions on how foods should be eaten (and bonus points because you agree with me on most of them....except that one thing) and I love annoying the crap out of you with my puns. Also you were someone who helped me get through a wicked bad week recently which seems small, but it meant a lot. I hope you stick around for a bit because dude, you’re really cool and I like you. You know that I would get tongue twisted telling you this in person but that's just how I am sometimes. I'll talk to you soon.

Four Simple Words - Frank Turner

Hey, you are someone I didn’t think would be as impactful as you have been. We’ve known of each other since middle school but got close in high school (we still don’t remember exactly how but I don’t ever question it) You are the best person to go to for general advice on anything, and what makes you really good at it is that you aren’t at all biased. Sometimes I get annoyed by it however I also appreciate it greatly. Never stop being unbiased. You taught me that the best friends are the ones that say, do, or tell you things that are what's best for you Even if it's something you don't want to hear. You’re also the kindest and most understanding person and have the tolerance of a saint. I’m so glad we’re still close and I’m sorry but you’re gonna be stick with me for awhile. 

“Hey I know a song that’s going to make you forget about high school for at least 2 minutes and honestly you’ll just dance it’s so good” You said. I had texted you after school one day. You were at college and I was a senior. I felt scared, confused, and angry at everything and everyone at the time. Including myself. That day I really needed a friend and you were there. I remember being in such a mood that the first thing I wanted to tell you was “Nothing will make me forget about how awful high school is” but you sent me the name of the song. The first minute of the song dragged I remember almost thinking how this was going to be upbeat song. It was making me more sad until those four simple words. “I WANT TO DANCE” followed by this energetic sound & frank turner’s screaming voice made just forget about everything for just 2 minutes like you said. Recently, Recovery is one of the many songs playing on my current playlist. I'll talk to you when I finish posting this.

 Don’t Save Me - HAIM 

Hey, We met at a lunch table my sophomore year. We didn’t talk too much the first half of the year but I thought you were the funniest person. I may have not talked a lot but I always laughed and I looked forward to lunch time just for the things our table talked about and the jokes you made. Still one of the top memories from high school. After high school we kept in touch for a bit and remained close. Telling each other stories we’ve experienced in college and I never told you this but I always saw you like as like an older sister to me.  You taught me some general, straightforward, real advice and just know that I remember and use that advice.

“This is a really catchy song what is this?” I asked. It was winter break and we had just finished having lunch  and we were driving back to my house. “It’s don’t save me by HAIM” you said, you were telling me about how you found them and why you liked them. You never really register how much worth there is in a moment until you look back at it. Sure at the time, you just simply told me an artist you listened to. Looking back, every time I listen to HAIM I do think of you and that afternoon we had lunch. catching up on what was happening at your school, how my first year of college was going, and also of course  reminiscing on high school.  I hope you're doing good.