I was always "chatty" as a kid. Teachers would complain to my parents that I would get work done early and then bother the rest of the students because I wanted to converse with just about anybody. A bit has changed 13 or so years later. I still love people and social engagement, but being at college has really showed me that I have limits. I never seemed to think I had them before.
A big part of college for me has been an increase in self-awareness, something I seem to be forever working on. I've noticed that in the company of new people, it takes me awhile to even say much, especially in situations where I am outnumbered by new faces. I retreat into my thoughts or look at my phone, behavior that is not really to my favor but feels like a safety net in the moment.
After I'm comfortable with someone, I'll be brutally honest—about myself, about them, about anything. I will be absolutely myself. But it takes a large amount of quality time with said person before I'm totally there. With the constant exposure to new faces in college, it's amazing to be able to meet so many people at once. It's an experience that I will be unable to recreate in my life, unless perhaps I parade into a nursing home in my wiser years. But with the constant social interaction, there needs to be a new level of a sort of social stamina to complement it. Getting accustomed to perpetual social interaction is something that takes a long time, and I'm not sure there is anyone that can do it literally all the time.
I started to realize pretty quickly into my first semester of college that I need breaks. I need to shut the door of my room and retreat to my bed with maybe a snack or two and watch a few episodes of an investing show. I need to go out into the promising city unaccompanied and just immerse myself in unfamiliar faces that I don't need to interact with. Most times it is most appealing to curl up in my bed and nap to recharge myself for the rest of the day if I need a quiet moment.
It wasn't until college that I even knew that I needed breaks from people; I thought I could go all the time without pause. I didn't realize how much I benefited from a breath away from even those I adore spending time with, and sometimes a night to myself is really what I need. It's healthy to spend time alone with your thoughts, and it's necessary to do so to maintain your best relationships and be your best self. Mental exhaustion is a friend to no one.
