I wish the cause of lost friendships (or just meaningful relationships with people in general) was clear. I wish there was a way for me to gauge how many fights it takes to finally sever ties from someone. Why can't there be a protocol to follow in order to maintain a good friendship? Unfortunately, people and people relations are not that simple.
Every time I want to invest my time and effort into someone, I feel as though it is all for a lost cause. Yet, there is still something in me that clings on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, this one particular person will stay with me for longer. But something happens. If I'm lucky, we get into a fight — a nice, clean way to end things. 98 percent of the time, it is a slow, painful, vague progression from companions to strangers, with no markers of a start time or end time. There is no clear indicator of the cause, and you are left analyzing the progression with the little data you have, only to come to a sub-par conclusion.
T. and I clicked as soon as met during orientation. We made new friends within our first month in our new college, and I would probably be calling or texting her five times or more per day. Somewhere along the way, the communication dwindled and by the end of the third month, I had no idea who or where she was anymore.
A. and I knew each other from a club. Like T., A. and I would communicate quite often. If there was ever anything I wanted to do, any event I wanted to go to, A. was the person I would text without a second thought. I was under the impression that we may be able to develop our friendship for years to come. I shared stories and experiences that I would normally keep to myself. I saw this as past the temporary fake-friend relations that are made in the first week of college. After a good 7 months, I was erased from her interest. I almost never saw her face, and our conversations were cold, short and aloof.
I have so many more stories like that of T and A., whether I have been speaking with someone for 1 month or 5 years. It makes me wonder how these strange cases of severed ties come about. For most people, the only thing to do is accept what has been done and to forget. It is almost a lost effort to try and repair. The reality is that people change, and no ties can ever stay consistent. I want there to be a solution to the mystery of lost relationships, otherwise I can only see relations with people as fleeting and temporary. A complete lost cause and futile effort.
