Literally, everyone has done it. One minute you’re fine, and the next thing you know you’re lying in bed alone feeling sorry for yourself because “everyone else has a boyfriend” and you’re definitely “going to die alone.”
I think that, oftentimes, these lonely feelings creep in because we look at our situation the wrong way. We view being single as a problem, rather than an opportunity.
Thankfully, I’ve gotten to a point in my life where these moments of self-pity are few and far between, but they still happen. When they do, I like to think about the story of Esther. It probably seems odd to read a story that centers around marriage to make yourself feel better about not having a boyfriend but bare with me.
I think that we, as single people, can take two really good lessons from this story.
The first is that God’s timing is perfect, and it is so incredibly important. In Esther 4:14, while Mordecai is urging Esther to tell the king about Haman’s plan to destroy the Jews, he says “Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this” (HCSB).
It was no accident or coincidence that Esther, a Jewish girl, was married to the king at the same time that a plot was formed to wipe the Jews, God’s chosen people, off the map. For us, this means that our relationship status right now, whatever it may be, is no coincidence either.
This brings me to my second point, which is that just like how God has a purpose for putting people into relationships, He has a purpose for keeping you out of one.
The purpose of Esther’s marriage was pretty apparent, and it was HUGE! I mean, saving an entire people group doesn’t sound too shabby to me.
The point is this: If we believe God uses us for a greater purpose in our relationships, then why shouldn’t we believe He uses us out of them?
Of course, this is not to say that marriage isn’t super awesome, because it is!
Just look at King Xerxes’s response to Esther — not only did he spare her life after she entered his presence uninvited, but in verse 5:3 he says, “Whatever you want, even to half the kingdom, will be given to you.”
Clearly, he really cared about her, and because of that, their marriage (like all marriages should) blessed them and thousands of other people…do you really think God would withhold something like that from you for no reason?
In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, Paul paints a great picture of why we should revel in our singleness, instead of fighting it. In verses 32-34 he says, “An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord — how he may please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the things of the world — how he may please his wife” (HCSB). Now, here comes the most important part, “... and his interests are divided.”
How awesome is it that right now we get to follow God without a romantic relationship “dividing our interests”?
How privileged are we to be able to listen to only His voice without the distractions of yet another person fighting for attention in our lives?
Maybe God’s purpose for you being single right now is so you feel unhindered in answering the calling He has for you. Maybe that calling is packing up and moving to another state, or going on a year-long mission trip, or taking a job that doesn’t pay as much as you’re used to.
Or maybe it’s as simple as having more time and money available to give to others who need it more than that cute guy in your English class you really wish would ask you out.
So instead of asking God why He would be so cruel as to let you wander through life without a boy to buy you spaghetti and make your Instagram look good, ask Him to reveal what AWESOME things He has planned for you while your interests are undivided.
Your dog looks cuter on Instagram, anyway.
