On Monday, December 19th around 10 p.m. in Germany, a semi truck ran through a Christmas market in Berlin. 12 were reported dead and 48 injured.
20 minutes later texts and Facebook posts were sent out into the world to report. Calls were made to see if any loved ones were hurt. Videos were made showing the damage. The wave of unrest began to ripple through the city.
An hour later news crews picked it up. Around the world the word buzzed and "Terror Attack" was the headline.
Two days later I am left with an empty feeling in my heart as I hope with every fiber of my being this does not happen again. So I take to my computer where I have the option to change the filter on my profile picture, post a long status update, or this, where I try to express my unease with the world.
We have seen many attacks and violence in the past years and each time the same reactions pop up on our news feeds and in our conversations around the dinner table.
Anger drives most of the words spewed from our fingers or clicked from our tongues. Anger against the person or people who we are told are responsible for the deaths and harm to others. Anger with the intention of finding the perpetrator and convicting them. Anger trying to hurt the people who hurt us. Anger that sends our minds into a closed-off corner where we blame groups of people who may share similarities to a suspected terrorist.
Too often the word "terrorist" is thrown out as a shield protecting nations and marginalizing people who are a part of a culture misunderstood by western people. To me the word terrorist has a hidden meaning behind it. It is a word that can put any Arab man into a category with steel walls and labels already stuck to him. It is a word that sends people into defense mode, always ready for an attack on their lives. After the attacks in Paris signs were hung, informing everyone to "Stay Vigilant". To the white people this meant fight for your country. For any person of color this meant keep your head down and don't make any sudden movements. Each country has their own example of this, transposed with different languages or different terms, but all causing groups to feel unsafe or unprotected by the country they call home.
Anger is good. Anger drives change. Yet when anger slips into blaming and generalization of a group of people as a whole, nothing will change. When our words of anger turn into accusations and claims that dehumanize groups of humans we chip away at the foundation of progress so many people work to build each day.
I am angry that the country I call my second home feels unsafe. I am angry that my friends feel safer in another country across the border than here in the place they grew up. I am constantly trying to figure out how to keep the world moving. I know that I am one of seven billion. I know that I am a very privileged, well-educated, white woman. I know that I can say these things and not be afraid for my life because of my opinions. I'm making the promise to work on how my anger and words affect the world around me.
