Re: A Thank You To My First College Friend

Re: A Thank You To My First College Friend

Let's be honest, this is long overdue.
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Although, if we’re being honest, you weren’t actually the first. But you were the ‘first’ first; does that make sense?

And while we are being honest, let me first admit what you’ve probably learned after spending our waking hours together this past year of college; I’m not good with words, I’m not good at feelings, I’m not good at keeping in contact - heck I'm not good at even making friends - the latter is just too much work if you ask me. But I digress, and will say that above all the things I’m not and probably will never be good at, that I am better at written word. Give me a keyboard or a pen and I will give you everything else I couldn't give or tell you in person.

Which in this case, is a thank you.

Thank you for being open (and patient) enough to deal with that first awkward ice breaker, tentative hi, rant, bus ride, heck - thank you for surviving not only orientation but also surviving me. It was a whirlwind of days full of chaotic but organized activities, and somehow in between those tentative smiles and repressed I-want-to-go-home chatter, you found the time to also deal with me.

Thank you for being there and trusting, and going above and beyond my expectations of what it is to be a friend. You aren't the first to show me that there are those who will be and do more than what is enough, and most likely you won't be the last - but what you are is one of the few, maybe handful, of people I’ve met and have yet to meet to show me that hey, opening up isn't so bad. Making friends is sometimes worth the trouble.

Kidding.

(Well, not really.)

Anyway, thank you. I can't write it out or express it enough. You’ve endured the stressed, coffee-and-sleep-deprived me, and have somehow found yourself stuck (hopefully willingly) with someone like me. (You’ve repressed any expression hinting that you regret our friendship thus far, so I’m assuming willingly for both sanity’s sake and the theme of this article).

That comment aside, we've mourned over grades together, stressed out together, churned out trash essays together, given up together...essentially - we’ve seen a lot of our worst together and somehow have managed to be nonplussed by the other’s levels of hot mess-ness.

So thank you, thank you, thank you.

Crossing bridges is hard, moving off to college is never anything less than monumental and difficult, but if it means meeting more people like you, (only like though, you’re one of a kind, of course), then I’m all for it. You have become one of my tethers, anchors, stones, etcetera to this mad, mad, world and I could have not found a better and more responsible half in this new stage of life.

Sorry for the overdue fluffy speech and cheers and good luck to us braving the next few semesters and endless years together.

(PS. When you read this, I promise I will warn you the next time I decide to become sentimental so you can be prepared and not think this was forced and something is wrong with me.

PS...S. Congratulations on your newest milestone, you adult.)

Cover Image Credit: Mariya Chorna

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To The Grandmothers Who Made Us The Women We Are Today

Sincerely, the loving granddaughters.
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The relationship between a grandmother and her granddaughter is something so uniquely special and something to be treasured forever.

Your grandma loves you like you are her own daughter and adores you no matter what. She is the first person you run to when you have a problem with your parents and she never fails to grace you with the most comforting advice.

She may be guilty of spoiling you rotten but still makes sure to stress the importance of being thankful and kind.

Your grandma has most likely lived through every obstacle that you are experiencing now as a young adult and always knows just exactly what to say.

She grew up in another generation where things were probably much harder for young women than they are today.

She is a walking example of perseverance, strength, and grace who you aim to be like someday.

Your grandma teaches you the lessons she had to learn the hard way because she does not want you to make the same mistakes she did when she was growing up.

Her hugs never fail to warm your heart, her smile never fails to make you smile, and her laugh never fails to brighten your day.

She inspires you to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

You only hope that one day you can be the mother and grandmother she was to you.

A piece of girl’s heart will forever belong to her grandma that no one could ever replace.

She is the matriarch of your family and is the glue that holds you all together.

Grandmothers play such an important role in helping their granddaughters to grow into strong, intelligent, kind women.

She teaches you how to love and how to forgive.

Without the unconditional love of your grandma, you would not be the woman you are today.

To all of the grandmothers out there, thank you for being you.

Sincerely,

the loving granddaughters

Cover Image Credit: Carlie Konuch

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3 Reasons To Cut That Bad Friend Off

We all have that one friend who is generally bad for us.

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We all have that one friend who is generally bad for us. It is perfectly okay to think about yourself and do what is right for you. It can be very toxic and unhealthy to constantly be around a bad influence in any kind of way. People always say they want to be financially secure or feeling secure with their significant other, but friendships also need security. Here are three reasons why that may not be the case.

1. They aren't supportive.

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We all have that friend who generally does not care about what you say or do. You gotta be careful with that. Some people will act like they do, but behind closed doors with their other friends they don't. There are so many things to talk about with friends especially problems and issues within each other's personal life. If that person isn't making any attempt to show any kind of sympathy for you, they aren't the friend for you.

True friends are always behind your back in whatever you may be going through. Yes sometimes it can be hard because everyone has their own problems, but if you are willing to give and take it makes a good balance. What I mean by that is, giving each other space to breathe and reflect on things that are happening, then come together and talk about it with one another.

2. Too clingy or needy.

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Another part in having not so good friends is if the person is too close to where they don't give you any space to get yourself together. The person who is clingy may have personal things going on in their life to make them like that and that is okay. But it can become unhealthy if the problems start becoming your problems and it is taking over your life in a negative way. What I mean by that is if that person is acting a certain way towards you and you can't seem to enjoy life as much sometimes to where you actually feel miserable, that is unhealthy. For example, jealousy. There are some friends who are very clingy because they are nosy and very jealous.

They don't take your kind friendship seriously because they are too busy secretly comparing their life to yours. There are some things in life that you can't control or help others with because it has to be handled a certain way. At the same time, you are still going through your own things and it can be draining to try and "fix" someone else when you have a lot on your plate as it is. Sometimes it is best to cut them off if they generally will not leave you alone or they are manipulating you in any kind of way from it. Sometimes doing that gives people a wake-up call of how they take their anger or problems out on others.

3. They talk about you behind your back.

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To make this clear, everyone talks about everyone. There is nothing wrong with that. But there is a difference between generally talking about someone to inform someone about what is going on, expressing frustration and trying to resolve something by asking for advice, compared to actually bad mouthing about someone in a very rude and mean way. If the person is actually saying mean things about you, they aren't the friend for you. If they insult you in any kind of way (race, gender, outer appearance, personality, family or other friends), it is best to stop being friends with them. If they talk about you behind your back and plan anything to try and harm you or someone else, it is best to cut them off and also inform some type of authority.

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