I have a strong opinion on politics. What's by opinion, you ask? That its all BS. Do good, be a decent human being, help those around you, be polite when others believe different from you. That is my political stance. But of course I work in the public, in the service industry. And what is it that my clients just LOVE to talk about? Politics. The President this, the Secretary of State that, "Did you hear about that new bill?" Yeah no. It all just goes in one ear and out the other. I firmly believe that we are all entitled to a political opinion, but it is wildly inappropriate to discuss them or disagree about them in a public setting. So I just refrain from talking about them ever. Period. There are definitely much more fun topics of conversation! Here are 50 Things I Would Rather Do Than Talk About Politics.
1. Wear yellow exclusively for the rest of my life.
2. Eat anchovies.
3. Live in a haunted house.
4. Stub my toe.
5. Read a 1,200 page book about the anatomy of a bees wings.
6. Get my hair caught in a round brush.
7. Have my socks slide down in my shoe.
8. Step in dog poop.
9. Get a sun burn.
10. Write an essay in yellow highlighter.
11. Apply winged eyeliner with a tooth pick.
12. Wear gasoline as perfume.
13. Have a flip phone.
14. Hold a snake.
15. Be allergic to coffee.
16. Ride a donkey to work.
17. Sleep without a fan on.
18. Walk around all day with spinach in my teeth.
19. Get a haircut with safety scissors.
20. Watch every Star Wars movie, back to back, without a pee break.
21. Buy underwear from the Goodwill
22. Wear said underwear.
23. Learn how to write left-handed.
24. Wear Crocs at my wedding.
25. Only ever smell sink bug.
26. Vacation in the NYC subway.
27. Have a pet cobra.
28. Go on a diet.
29. Wear snow pants in Arizona in August.
30. Take a road trip in a clown car.31. Go skydiving. (Complete fear of heights, y'all. I get sick looking out second story windows.
32. Use Pantene shampoo for the rest of my life.
33. Have ugly babies.
34. Use hand sanitizer on a fresh paper cut.
35. Swallow a bee.
36. Get a flat tire in rush hour traffic.
37. Have to end every sentence with "Bazinga"
38. Re-live high school.
39. Never have a birthday again.
40. Exclusively listen to low-budget dub step.
41. Use snake venom as lip plumper.
42. Have carpet in my bathroom.
43. Wear wet clothing.
44. Have pea green nail polish for the rest of my life.
45. Watch Sponge Bob for 24 hours straight.
46. Snort Sour Skittles.
47. Share a cab with Justin Beiber.
48. Get shampoo in my eyes.
49. Slip on a banana peel.
50. Sit in bubble gum.
Moral of the story? I don't want to talk about politics.
When One Person and One Person and One Person Become Many
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