Whenever a controversial event happens, Facebook explodes with articles from various writers with their own opinions—which is fine. In regards to the Stanford incident, these articles seem to all have a common theme: the dangers of alcohol and college partying—which is not fine. Everyone wants to put their two cents in, but are the conversations we are having helpful or are they aiding in the downward spiral that is humanity?

The conversation we need to be having is not one about alcohol, partying or even rape culture. We need to start looking at ourselves and question where we are headed. This incident at Stanford and every rape before that was not just the rapists fault but our own. Yes, we as a collective society are at fault. It's our fault for allowing the judicial system to place the blame on the victim instead of the perpetrator time after time. It's our fault for not stepping up and saying something when the victim gets asked, "What were you wearing? Why were you there? Do you have a history of drinking? Do you have a history of cheating?," while the rapist only gets asked what his future goals are and what his fastest swim lap time is. This is our fault.

It's our fault for allowing rape victims to ever believe they were to blame. It's our fault for not believing their stories. It's our fault for not calling out sexual assaults and for sweeping them under the rug. It's our fault for allowing the term "rape culture" to be preceded by air quotes. It's our fault for putting the rapists' mental state and well being above the victims.

Our actions have not reflected what we post on Facebook. Online petitions are a weak attempt at a protest. Nothing will change until we stop hiding behind computer screens and actually let our voices be heard. I can tell you now, a judge is not reading your statuses. He made his decision and he went home and probably forgot about the whole case.

So victims, stick together. Speak out. Families, believe their stories and support them. Detectives, be sensitive and fair. And everyone else, just be a decent human being.