Have you ever been in a situation of major frustration? To the point that you wanted to cry, scream, punch something, give up, die and get a hug all at the same time. I have had many eye-opening experiences over the past year. Therefore I decided to write about them. So I’m going to get a little bit raw, here. Normally I take life one day at a time. Then like months later, when I am able to laugh about it; a short story comes. My life can be found in my fiction. Many times in my life I am unable to deal with my emotions, thoughts, and feelings. So I write them. Many of my “good” short stories come out of an emotion I could not vocalize. I have been excused for being an emotionless robot several times in life. That’s a fair cop because I have a monotone voice and do not seem to have feelings or opinions. Since I am unable to be a functional member of society I had to find a way to cope. Through writing fiction and my short stories, I have been able to bring myself to a state of functioning insanity. To the point that I am completely insane but nobody knows it (ha ha, suckers! You do not even notice; I’m insane).
Anyway, massive frustration comes and goes; the best way to describe it is the statement of, “Really God?” You know what I mean when you look up at the heavens and exclaim, “Really God!?! Why me?” These happen when God gives you a situation that you feel is too much. Over the past year of my life, I have had many of these “Really God?” moments. One was just a few days ago. So I’m going to get raw. This is no beating around the bush fictionalized account of real events. The reason I’m writing an “I” statement piece is this is a special article. Welcome to my fiftieth Odyssey article folks! So I have been writing for the Odyssey for a year now. So I’m reflecting on the past year that I wrote for the website. But the only thing I can think of is, “Really God? Why me?” My sophomore year of college was rough. I was over-worked, under paid, stressed, kicked, beaten and bruised. Cool, right? So I wanted to write about life lessons I learned in the last year. I hope that is okay?
1. People will always surprise you. I was very worried about my roommate situation going into sophomore year. I did not know them (well I knew one of them but still they more acquaintances than friends). But now my roommates are my closest friends on campus. Pretty cool right? Also, I want to add that people come and go. Friends are very much based on situation way more than the character of a person. So, “friends” are contingent on the different classes you take and such. But true friends and close friends never leave. People grow and change. Some people you just grow apart and you just shrug your shoulders like, “eh.” Other people are worth fighting for.
2. For every one of those “Really God?” moments, there are like twelve, “Thank You God” moments. For example when was the last time you thanked God for your life? When was the last time you thank him for your food? Your house? Your education? Your family? Your friends? My life is a mess but I am surrounded by the best people. I have a family that loves me, an opportunity to go to college, and wonderful friends.
3. Writing is hard. You try to write a weekly short story and see how long you last.
4. I have also learned a lot about myself. (So I’ll list ten of them). In life, there are people who make lists and there are people who finish...
A. I learned that I want to be a teacher. After being an education major for two years I now know that is what I want to do with my life (thanks, Alternative Break!).
B. I’m a pretty awesome guy. I’m not the greatest person in the world but hey, you could do worse. And I’m okay with that.
C. If dragons were real; I would be dead right now.
D. I still do not know who Scott Baio is.
E. Life is hard. No one ever claimed it was easy but the trick to living a happy life is finding joy. Joy is not an emotion it is a choice. Once you know how to find joy and you surround yourself with the right people that you love… that’s a good life. (Love is a choice as well. Yet on the other hand, bitterness is also a choice.)
6. I let the dogs out.
G. I skipped F.
I. I do not have any answers… and maybe that’s okay.
10. I skipped H as well.
E. I realize that I stopped making sense a long time ago. I do not claim to have the secret to life. Because the secret to life is different for every person. The things that work for me will not work for you. Find the way that you can cope with all life throws at you and there you go. Some people drink, smoke, or strangle dolphins. I do not suggest those but if it works… then go for it. Some people pray, volunteer or strangle dolphins. Find your niche and do worry about what the world thinks. The critics, judges, and haters can go f*** themselves. Enjoy your life! I find joy is writing, what do you enjoy? God bless you and thank you for reading my articles for the past year. And here’s to another year of Eric Moran insanity! Peace!
P.S. So with all the times that I have asked God Really? Why me? I will say in my reflections about the last year of my life. I now find myself asking Really God? How did I get so lucky? I look at the people in my life and I can't believe how much God has given me. So I wanted to be honest with you (my reader). Yes I can say my reader! People read my work! Dreams do come true!
In writing; I am just an observer of life with a notepad. No story I write is pure fiction. Every story has a grain of truth to it. So thank you for sticking with me over one year of work. Even with all the bad articles and such. I am so very grateful.