I originally went to college hoping to come out fluent in another language, ready to become a translator. At this point, that's not going to happen, and I'm okay with that.

I studied Japanese all through high school and planned to study it all through college. I wanted to study Korean as well. Hoping to come to an easy solution, I thought, "I could do a double major. I can study several languages." That plan didn't last long.

Before I left for college, I had a nagging feeling that something wasn't right. Studying two languages at the same time seemed intimidating. It sounded like a lot of work, too much work. What if there were other classes I wanted to take?

To avoid this dilemma, I decided to choose one language, so I went with Korean. The decision wasn't hard. I liked the idea of starting something new, starting with the basics. I wouldn't have to stress over taking a placement test or a placement interview either. The opportunity to study Korean was one reason I decided to attend the University of Washington anyway. Why waste that opportunity? I figured I could continue my pursuit of Japanese through self-study.

Unfortunately, that never happened. Most likely, it was due to a lack of motivation.

Once my first quarter of college, and Korean class, began, it didn't take long for me to notice that I lacked a language learning desire that was evident in my classmates. I enjoyed going to class and I even liked doing the daily workbook assignments, but I realized I just liked learning other languages for fun, not for a career. I didn't take it seriously.

I never studied as diligently or as thoroughly as I should have if I truly wanted to become fluent. I had been this way when I studied Japanese as well; I was just more oblivious to it back then. With this recognition came questions: What will I study now, if not language? Where's my focus?

I continued to take Korean for the rest of my first year of college so I could finish out at least one year. After two quarters, I realized which subject I missed the most from high school: English. I wanted to take a creative writing class, but English majors were given priority registration. "Maybe I should try writing again," I thought. Writing was the one talent I knew I had. I wasn't good at anything else.

With trembling hands, I registered for the introductory course for the English major. By doing so, I was running away from what a younger version of myself had claimed for my future, but I didn't look back.

After a few weeks in the introductory course, I thought to myself, "This is it. This is what I want to do." Then I began thinking about aspects associated with language classes that I was not fond of. I hoped I could escape them by no longer taking a language.

I was tired of the countless questions people would ask: Why are you taking Korean? How come you aren't continuing Japanese? Why do you study so many Asian languages?

I was tired of needing a deliberate reason to study a language in the first place.

I was tired of people expecting me to be able to understand everything I read.

I no longer wanted the anxiety that came with oral exams.

I was curious about what it would be like to participate in language study outside a classroom setting.

I wanted to be able to study a language on my own terms, on my own time, whenever I wanted.

I wanted to be able to study for however long I wanted, be it five minutes or 60 minutes, rather than for a set length at the same time each day.

I wanted to learn at my own pace.

Most importantly, I wanted a break: an opportunity to take a step back, breathe and rest from it all.

Maybe one day I'll pull my Japanese notebooks and Korean textbooks from their home on my bookshelf, blow off the dust on their covers and open them up to fumble through their pages once again. But that day is not today.