No one said being vegetarian was easy, but no one told me about the extremely illogical questions that would accompany the already difficult diet. The following list contains questions that people have actually asked me whenever I mention I'm vegetarian.
I decided that I can't be the only one who has encountered them, so here are 17 we've all heard at one point or another.
1. You don't mind if I eat meat in front of you, right?
Only if you don't mind me eating my pizza in front of you.
2. Is it for religious purposes?
Just because I'm brown, doesn't mean I'm vegetarian due to a religious reason. Do you eat meat because you're Christian, Jewish, etc? Your diet is out of your own pleasure; same goes for mine.
3. But OMG, how do you do it? Like I would never be able to do it.
It's called patience. You have to learn how to deal with limited food choices as well as ridiculous questions.
4. Are you sure you don't want some?
Yes, I'm sure, otherwise, I would've already had some.
5. But can you eat fish?
What part of no living animal do you not understand?
6. Can you eat cheese?
Yes. I'm vegetarian, not vegan — learn the difference.
7. Wait, what about cake and cookies?
Again, I'm vegetarian — not a hermit living under a rock. Learn the difference.
8. But then where do you get your proteins from?
Kidney beans. Lentils. Nuts. Soy. Chickpeas. Black beans. Peanut Butter. Quinoa. Need more?
9. What do you order at restaurants?
Um. Vegetarian food? What else? (You know you can ask them to remove the meat, right?)
10. The animals will be killed and eaten by someone else so what's the point? You're not exactly saving them.
I'm saving myself the guilt. At least I can go to sleep at night knowing that I didn't kill a poor chicken.
11. Can you touch meat?
Can you touch the leaves of a plant? Yeah? Then don't ask silly questions.
12. But you're killing plants?! How is that not murder?
Are you serious? Your argument has sunk that low?
13. You must be an animal saint, right?
No. It's like saying "Since you're against the murder of humans, you must love all humans, right?"
14. The "if" question —"If the only thing left on this planet was bacon, would you eat it?"
If the only thing left on this planet was a salad, would you eat it? Yes? The same goes for me, but be reasonable. What are the chances that "if" scenario will actually take place.
15. Are you a health junkie?
You know I eat cake, chips and pizza? And that's all vegetarian.
16. So... what about chicken?
Are you serious? Do you not understand English?
17. Oh c'mon, can't you just eat it?
I wrote this question, reformatted, twice to emphasize how many times people try to tempt me into eating meat. I do not want it! If I wanted to eat it, I would have already!
