Dating someone new is always exciting, but it can be sort of a big decision. Taking yourself off the dating market and committing to someone can be scary, especially if you're still getting to know them. Now look, I'm not claiming to be a dating expert or a relationship counselor or anything like that, but I do know what's important in relationships. Before you stick a label on it and introduce them to your family, here are 14 questions to ask someone before dating them.
1. What are your religious beliefs?
Religious and philosophical views can tell you a lot about a person, and it's difficult to be in a relationship with someone who believes something different from you. If you'll want to spend Wednesday nights at a Bible study while your partner would rather go to a bar, that will be a point of conflict. Make sure your religious views line up with your significant other's.
2. What kind of relationship do you have with your family?
I'm sure we've all heard that a boy will treat you the same way he treats his mama. While that statement may not be true in all cases, there is some truth in it. How someone treats their family members will tell you a lot about how they will treat you. If family is important to you, you'll want someone that calls their siblings and has lunch with their parents.
3. What are your political views?
Some have claimed that people with differing political views can still have a happy relationship. I disagree. Whether it's in a month or ten years down the road, politics will come up and cause issues between people who don't share the same views. I'm not saying that your partners' views should be identical with yours, but the two of you should agree on most things when it comes to politics. Your significant other's views on issues like abortion, immigration, etc. should matter and do matter in the long run.
4. Do you have a criminal background?
You honestly never know these days, and you can NEVER be too safe. It's better to ask now than to find out in six months that your partner is a convicted felon.
5. What are your expectations of me in this relationship?
This is basically a polite way of asking if someone is high maintenance. You don't want to get into a relationship and realize that your partner wants you to call them every thirty minutes to check in. So, go ahead and ask before you date them.
6. Are you in any kind of debt?
Financial stuff is tricky to talk about but nonetheless important. If you eventually marry the person and then find out that they have hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt that is now yours too, that will not be a happy day, believe me.
7. What do you do in your free time?
What a person does in their free time can tell you a lot about who they are as a person and whether or not the two of you are compatible. Let's say you're more of an indoorsy-Netflix-type of person. You won't want to go hiking every single weekend with your partner. It's better to start off knowing what they do with their free time so you can compromise or hit the road.
8. Are you employed?
This is a basic question, I know, but probably one of the most important ones! It's important to know where someone works and what their career plans look like. I doubt anyone wants to date a lazy bum.
9. What are your vices?
Everybody has them so you might as well know them from the get-go. What is annoying to one person may be cute to another.
10. What is your personality type?
Some people may not be into the whole personality testing thing, but I believe that knowing a person's personality type can give you an idea of whether or not you'll get along with them. Plus, it's fun to read the different assessments!
11. How do you handle your money?
What do you spend your money on? Do you save it? If you don't agree on money, you probably won't agree on much else.
12. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
It's very important to know where this person imagines themselves in 10 years. The closer this person's vision is to yours, the better.
13. What is important in your life?
This is another way of asking what the person prioritizes in life. What is important to one person may not be important to another so it's nice to know right off the bat what this person prioritizes in life.
14. What are your intentions in this relationship?
Asking someone what their intentions are will give you a good idea of what kind of relationship they're going for. If the person stutters and stammers, they're probably just looking to hook up. But, a person who answers with "a relationship that will hopefully lead to marriage" is definitely looking for something more serious.
Dating is difficult, but it can also be rewarding. Hopefully, these 14 questions will help you decide whether to ditch or date the person you're interested in!