Her eyes stare at my face. The Maybelline mascara weighs down her dark lashes which encircle her eyes, outlined by black pencil and colored in with a blue powder to match her false, plastic pupils. She stares at the red dot centered on my forehead, a symbol of my rich culture, as if it was "weird." I wonder as she looks on whether I should ask her why she looks at me with strange eyes or if I should scrub off the bindi and save face.
Perhaps this bindi situation does not occur in the everyday lives of Indian adults, but similar events occur in the lives of Indian youth. First generation youths have encountered a severe problem in this day of "defining America" --are we American or Indian?
The common man's answer to the question is, well, both. We are Indian-American. Every day we must decide whether to stand up to the looks and insults of American youth and defend our Indian heritage with pride, or yield to the prejudices and decide to "assimilate" into society.
Assimilate is a funny word. Americans use it to mean blending into American culture, adopting their customs and ways. In reality, assimilation is nothing more than a euphemism for "being like the rest." But do we Indians want to be like the rest? Is assimilating in the United States worth losing the intricacy of our culture and beauty of our heritage?
I am amazed at how much we have already assimilated. Over the years, Indians have taken larger and larger steps towards assimilation. We don't stick to working Indian employee-Indian employer anymore and have now arrived at huge international corporations and American run businesses. On a smaller scale, though, the contrast between those who have and have not assimilated is shown clearly through Indian or American youth
Indian youth now respect American views to the point where we betray our fellow Indians. For example, many youths today call new Indian immigrants FOB, Fresh Off the Boat, a label which expresses these kids "differences," which range anywhere from the K-mart clothes to the notorious Indian accent, which is number one on the Not-Cool list.
It is truly sad that at this time when Indians in India are having difficulty uniting, that Indians cannot even overcome differences in America. Accents are nothing but different voices, and more often then not they reflect a subculture, much like the Southern and English accents.
Indian youth also give each other a hard time over the pride or prejudice question. Ironically, we judge each other over how well one is Indian and one is American. The typical scripture-following, Chimayan-attending Indian is looked upon as an outcast when verbalizing his or her beliefs in school, which many youths feel uncomfortable in doing. Yet, those Indians who blend in well with their Gap clothes and handy makeup kits are looked upon as outcasts by fellow youth group members. It's a no-win situation. Or should I say a no popularity situation?
The time will come in every Indian or Americans youth's life to make a decision about what he calls himself. Whether he consciously knows it or not, this choice will make him who he is. There is no way he will be able to please everybody or hold on to everything.
Yet, we must understand that we have to do what we feel is best.
Some may choose to "assimilate" for the reasons that we are in Rome, and we should do as the Romans. Others may choose to live up to their strong beliefs and traditions. Whether we choose to be Indian or American, that is left up to the individual.
As for me, the bindi stays on.
