Here is some background: I was adopted from China when I was a year old. My mom is a single mom who wanted a child, so she adopted one in need: me. My family is white, and obviously, I am not. I live in the suburbs and often I am the only Asian person in my friend groups. My mom and I have gotten some questions over the last 17 years, and here is an FAQ about adoption.
Do I ever want to meet my birth parents?
I've thought about this question a lot, and right now, the answer is 'no.' I am curious about my birth parents' story, but I don't think I want to meet them. It would be a lot of emotional trauma on all sides, and I don't think I want to bring that upon myself or my birth-parents.
How did I come to understand that I was adopted?
So, there are a fair amount of resources that describe adoption at a child's level, and those helped my mom explain adoption to me at a very young age. We had a book called "I Love You Like Crazy Cakes" that describes one mom's journey to adopt a Chinese baby. Books like those played a large part in my understanding of how the process worked.
Is it strange being Asian in a white family?
I mean, yes and no. In one sense it's quite obvious that I bear little resemblance to the rest of my family, but on the other hand, it's not like I'm treated differently. While I do have different hair and different eyes, I have the same last name, and that's what's really important.
Do I notice when people look at me and my mom strangely?
I don't notice, but every now and then my mom will tell me that some people keep looking at us. A lot of times they are older people who don't quite understand international adoption. Other times, they are also white parents with Asian kids who are amazed to see another family that looks like them.
Do I feel connected to my heritage?
Sometimes I feel like I don't know a lot of the "norms" of Chinese culture, but in terms of feeling connected to China, the answer is 'yes.' My mom and I have gone back to China twice with "Heritage Tours." Adoption agencies will organize and encourage these for Chinese adoptees. The second time was with our adoption agency called Chinese Children Adoption International, which is an amazing agency for international (and now domestic) adoption. The slogan of the tour was "Home in the World, Roots in China," and you can read more about my return back to my found site in Anhe, China.
