I don't think there will ever be a moment as traumatizing as waking up to find you having continuous seizures, fumbling around in your cage as your body was racked around uncontrollably.

I'm sorry I didn't recognize the signs faster, or that I couldn't do anything to soothe your groans of pain because of the sick feeling in your stomach. I never expected the vet to tell me there wasn't anything they could do about it.

I never expected to hold your body one last time with your eyes so glossed over you could barely see me. I never expected to feel your heart stop beating.

You were a bundle of joy that brought me the happiest moments when I felt my weakest. The one thing I looked forward to when coming home from college was getting to spend time with you because your presence never failed to bring me comfort. All of the times I had felt weak and unloved, you were there to remind me I was important to someone and that someone was depending on me. You reminded me to stay tough, barking and growling at every dog you passed even though they were ten times bigger than your two-pound body. You reminded me to find joy in the little things, such as the moments you'd get treats just for bringing a smile to my face. You always protected me, barking and putting on a brave stance if someone got too loud or too close.

And you were so boujee, tiptoeing through the grass anytime a speck of water littered the ground. You were my best friend. The one who slept with me at night and woke me up in the mornings.

But most importantly, you taught me how to love.

You taught me how to show everyone my heart and that there is nothing wrong with giving a little extra for nothing in return. I'll always love you and no one will be able to replace you.

The bravest thing I've done is end your suffering, and I'm glad I got to brave for you. But the bravest thing you've ever done is continuously put me before you, and I don't think I'll ever find a love like that again.