2019 Is The Year I Put Myself First
Start writing a post

Now that we're about a month into the new year, I have had a lot of time to think about what I want to come out of 2019. I firmly believe in the idea that a new year is a great opportunity to set goals, maintain your strengths, and most importantly prioritize what is best for you. 2018 was, in fact, the year of my highest highs and my lowest lows, but it has been the year that I have grown and overcome the most and that is why I am forever grateful for it. This year I hope to take more of a backseat and reflect upon what I really want, for once.

I have spent so much of my time wasted on people who could never give me what I wanted. I had such a picture in my head of every perfect scenario that when it didn't turn out as I envisioned, it absolutely crushed me. Whenever my friends didn't post some grandiose paragraph for my birthday or I didn't get invited to the hottest party, I would be devastated. Like you'd laugh at how many times I've cried over the silliest things that will not matter in five years let alone five months from now. I would literally freak out over something as stupid as my plans for Friday night getting wrecked. Literally so dumb. My expectations of people have always been too high, and even when I get let down, for some reason, I am somehow still hopeful that things will turn around.

Too much of my life has been spent trying to please everyone. I am always the first to jump at the chance to make someone smile and go out of my way to make their day better—and this is typically at the cost of my own well-being. Because at the end of the day, this always leaves me feeling alone, yearning for more, because I rarely get back all of the time I have invested in others. I know a lot of the things that have frustrated me over the years seem arbitrary, and yes, the feeling of giving is more important than receiving blah blah blah. But it still never feels good to know that all of the time and effort you put into something wasn't reciprocated like you had hoped it would.

Alright, enough complaining. It's time that I put all of this hurt aside and be my own hero. This year I am determined to just do what makes me happy and stop worrying so much about all the consequences. I don't intend on becoming a heartless bitch and stop caring about other people because the compassion I give toward others is something I believe is one of my best traits. I love the way I put my heart on the line and put my all into everything that I do. However, it's no longer going to be at the cost of me feeling let down or sorry for myself any longer. My happiness has just been simply way too dependent on the happiness of others that I love and care about, and it's time to put an end to that.

Clearly, I am not a master at this or else I would have no reason to share this with you guys. I am determined for this year to be a year where I learn and grow every single day. The past few months I think I have matured in ways that I never thought I could, and I am excited to share this new and improved side of me with the people I love most in this whole world. But I know that there is always still room to grow. I am destined to become a better me and there is nothing that anyone can say or do to change that.

2019 is the year that I lower my expectations.

2019 is the year that I stop worrying about what other people think.

2019 is the year that I start to capitalize on and appreciate the little things.

2019 is the year that I surround myself with people that will lift me up instead of pulling me down.

2019 is the year that I seize every opportunity.

2019 is the year that I put myself first.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Haunted Houses For Halloween In New Jersey

The Top Scariest Haunted Houses In New Jersey


Residing in New Jersey enables you to participate in various activities, and everyone has a favorite. In New Jersey, Halloween is also celebrated in a spooky way. There are many scariest haunted houses in NJ to celebrate Halloween. If you want to confront your greatest fears, Halloween Scariest haunted houses are ideal.

Keep Reading... Show less

Leaving My Backpack In The Library

Views about society and the stranger sitting right across from me


As a college student, my backpack is an extension of myself in many ways. It contains my notes, pens, and computer vital for my success in college. It contains the snacks and water bottle I need to survive long days on campus. It also contains the "in-case" items that help put my mind at rest if I forgot something from home: extra hair ties, masks, and that backup-backup snack. With so much in my backpack important to me and my life on campus, it is no wonder that I can get apprehensive about it when it is not with me or in my line of sight. And that makes me wonder.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Cool Gadgets To Make Your Car Smart

Don't let this stop you from making your car smart. You can change the one you have using smart gadgets that transform your car into a smart car.


Cars are no longer just a mode of transport, where you only worry about the engine and how beautiful its interior is. These days, everyone wants to make their cars smarter, those with advanced technology systems. It makes sense for several reasons. It can make your vehicle more efficient and safer when you need to drive.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Inevitable Truth of Loss

You're going to be okay.


As we humans face loss and grief on a daily basis, it's challenging to see the good in all the change. Here's a better perspective on how we can deal with this inevitable feeling and why it could help us grow.

Keep Reading... Show less

'Venom: Let There Be Carnage' Film Review

Tom Hardy and Woody Harrelson lead a tigher, more fun sequel to 2018's 'Venom'

Photo Credit: Sony Pictures Entertainment – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FmWuCgJmxo

When Sony announced that Venom would be getting a stand-alone movie, outside of the Tom Holland MCU Spider-Man films, and intended to start its own separate shared universe of films, the reactions were generally not that kind. Even if Tom Hardy was going to take on the role, why would you take Venom, so intrinsically connected to Spider-Man's comic book roots, and remove all of that for cheap action spectacle?

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments