Growing up, I've always been the girl who said yes to everyone because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. In the process of realizing I was just being walked all over, it has taken 20 years to come to terms with the fact that I need to start saying no. I need to stop being a pushover and allowing everyone to take advantage of me and my kindness. I need to stop saying yes to every favor asked of me and learn to be a little selfish at times. I don't believe in being selfish but in hindsight, selfish individuals often get more respect than those who aren't.

I need to start putting my efforts towards the things I want and need that make my happiness worth wild. Which means putting my efforts into those who reciprocate the same amount of time into me.

If you are like me, you are probably always the first one to reach out for plans or to check up on someone. That can get tiring and be a waste of time if they don't do the same for you. It can turn into weeks of not talking to someone if you aren't the first one to call or text them. That isn't fair. There is always confrontation as an option if you're ballsy enough to reach out to those individuals and see what the issue is. I am not good at confrontation because sometimes things are better left unknown. You never know if they are just going to bullshit into believing they've just been busy and stressed.

Once they say that, you turn into the kind person you are and apologize for bothering them. That is not how it should be with friends. You deserve the same respect and time from those who you believe are important. Let them prove it to you. Stop doing everything in your power to make them happy and let them realize how kind and valuable you are when you aren't around as much. See if that makes a difference and if it doesn't, clearly, those who you thought would be your close friends, really aren't the ones you should invest in. It is OK to let go of those friendships that don't have a purpose anymore or serve a kind of happiness in one's life.

Take it from me, this 2019 year I am going to start new and see what comes my way. I am not going to say yes to every plan that is offered to me and not be as available to people like I've been in the past and see who really wants me in their life and reaches out to me. I know it will be hard to stay away from those people because I am so used to talking to them every day but this will just prove to me who thinks about me when I am not around.

Know your worth. I challenge you to do the same thing.