You know those days when everything seems to be going wrong? For example, you forgot your lunch, your gas is running out, and there was a line at the bathroom. Yeah, those days. I always get cheered up by three things: Disney, food, and PUNS! So here are a few puns which I found amusing, and wanted to share with all of you! Use them in line when you are bored, to impress, or to introduce yourself. Seriously, they make great first impressions. Have fun!

1. What do you call a pile of cats?

--A MEOW-tain!

2. Do you know what happened when I went to the seafood disco?

--I pulled a mussel.

3. What do you call a fish made out of two sodium atoms?

--Two (Na)

4. Why did the kitten slide off the roof, and not the adult cat?

--Because it had a smaller mu! (u)

5. What happens when you combine a mountain climber and a mosquito

--Nothing! You can’t combine a scalar and a vector!

6. What did the cow say to the other cow blocking the entrance?

--MOOOO-ve out of the way.

7. What did the other cow say back?

--I can’t, I am udder-ly stuck!

8. Why didn’t the dime roll with the nickel down the hill?

--Because it had more CENTS!

9. Why is Peter Pan depicted as always flying?

---Because he NeverLands...

10. Why don’t you serve alcohol at a math party?

--Because you can’t drink and derive!

11. What did the astronaut say about the restaurant in the moon?

--Good food but no atmosphere.

12. How does NASA organize a party?

--They PLANET!

13. Can February March?

--No, but April May.

14. What do you call a crocodile in a suit?

--An investigator....

15. Where does a waitress with only one leg work?


16. Did you see the movie about constipation?

--It hasn't come out yet!

17. Why was the can-crusher sad?

--Because his job was soda-pressing!

18. Why was the dolphin trainer sad to lose their job?

--Because now her life had no porpoise!

19. What type of computer sings?

--A Dell...

20. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?