We've just come upon the end of week 11, and honestly, I'm feeling really burnt out. Especially due to daylight savings and the dreary weather, all I'm trying to do is cuddle up, get attention, and avoid my responsibilities.
I can't do that, so let's talk about someone who can.
If you've been living under and Athens block, Ohio University legend Pumpkin the Cat lives in the Board of Elections on South Court Street on the little window seat. From 8 AM to 4 PM Monday through Friday, you can stop in and give him the endless pats he deserves. You absolutely need to do this at least a billion times before you graduate, I swear you've never and will never meet a cat as gentle and lovely as him.
Pumpkin REALLY has it good, and to continue to wallow in my winter break craving and burnout misery, I thought I'd detail some of the ways Pumpkin is thriving way more than the rest of us. Buckle up, here are 10 ways why Pumpkin is living a better life than all of us (combined too, probably.)
1. Pumpkin is loved by all
Literally IMAGINE being such an icon in the Ohio University community! Everyone knowing your name, loving you for you, and being famous without even trying.
2. Pumpkin has no responsibilities
His only responsibility is to keep being pure and the hero that Athens needs, not just wants. Walking by and seeing our handsome boy in the window can get me through the next week and a half, and that's WITHOUT even going in to pet him. Getting paid in pats by sitting and looking pretty sounds like a pretty good gig if you ask me.
3. Pumpkins gets endless attention
Calling all my attention-seekers out there! Not in the shady way, of course, everyone loves a little attention on them every once in a while. If you were adored by so many, wouldn't you want to always be reminded of that fact by being visited and getting pats from all your friends? Makes total sense to me, and having friends to scratch that hard to reach spot on your back at all times? Wow.
4. Pumpkin isn't paying to live in Athens
Most of us here during the school year are paying huge tons of money to live here! Pumpy gets to enjoy everything Athens has to offer all the time at no cost! In fact, I would argue he gets paid in love for his position on the community.
5. Pumpkin will never be alone in the world
I don't know if I'm speaking for every single person in the Athens community (but I feel like I am,) but I would lay my LIFE down for Pumpkin the cat. That's a lot of people protecting this cat. I won't forget about Pumpkin until the day I die. If Pumpkin ever thinks he has no one, he'll always have me. I hope most of my readers feel the same.
6. Pumpkin gets free food
Need I say more?
7. Pumpkin is flawless
You've seen at least the pictures of him I've attached so far, so you have to agree with me on this by now. His FUR, his EYES, his sleepy little FACE, his CHONK. In the words of One Direction, "I'm in love with you, and all your little things."
8. Pumpkin doesn't speak English
We don't need to speak cat to understand that he loves our endless pats and kisses, but we do know when he doesn't want them. Instead of having to be confrontational, he can jump and walk away, and to that we say "It's okay baby we understand everyone needs some alone time sometimes love you <33."
9. Pumpkin gets endless pats, cuddles, and playtime
Have I said this yet? I think I have, but it's so important I have to say it twice.
10. Pumpkin can nap (in the sun!) as long as he wants
Ever skipped class to sleep? Whether you've skipped on purpose or not, all college students could catch a couple more z's. Pumpkin can get his z's whenever he so pleases, in a sunny windowsill no less, where all who wish to see him can "aww" and stare as he catches up on his beauty sleep. We all wish we were him right now.
Literally imagine living a life so lavish.
Have I made you want to stop by and worship the king? I know I sure do miss him and want to go pet him right now instead of catching up on all the homework I've been missing because I was studying or doing some other work and couldn't get to it right on time. Sigh, happy week 11 everyone, and long live the king.
