I claim I am a comedian because I am not sure entirely sure how I would officially get that title nor do there seem to be any regulations on who gets it.

I personally believe that you should receive the title "comedian" by being in front of a board of comedians that contains some of the greatest comedians of all time. You tell your best jokes or do your best act and then they decide whether you are in or out. It could also be a numerical achievement. Like after telling so many jokes, whether it be one thousand or one million, Jerry Seinfeld calls you up and congratulates you and welcomes you to the club. Then a week later in the mail you get a trophy that has your name on it and the title "comedian."

Basically I am a self-proclaimed comedian because I do not know how to do become one. I do the work though, I do not just claim the title and that's it. I write my own jokes, I tell my own jokes, I rewrite my own jokes. I believe in the long haul of jokes though. You have to fully commit to the joke even when it is not going well. You must stand your ground and maybe mix it up to keep your audience's attention but whatever you do you cannot give up on the joke.

My favorite kind of comedian is stand-up comedian, although it's what I am most terrified of. I think there is some real talent if you are able to stand on a stage with just a microphone in hand and keep the audience entertained. But standing in front of people with just a microphone could very easily end badly. However, I have had enough of a food industry job to know that I would never want to have this job forever. You probably are thinking maybe she was a waitress or worked in fast food, but no I worked at a movie theater. I still have stress dreams where I wake up in the middle of the night and yell “someone drop that popper," because at the movie theater there is no greater shame than burning popcorn because then you, and the whole place, smell of burnt popcorn for the rest of the day.

The only thing worse than burning popcorn is burning the popcorn so much that it catches on fire. One person did this on a night when I wasn’t working so my friends who were at work texting me to tell me immediately what happened. So after the fire the mangers had to go around to make sure everyone knew how to put out a grease fire. So I thought this is the perfect opportunity to show off how funny I think I am. So they asked me, “how do you put out a grease fire” so I said, “smother it” and they were like “good and give me and example of what you would do” so I said, “I would say where do you think you are going young lady? And dressed like that? I do not think so why don’t you put on something more appropriate and we will talk about you going out” and then they checked my name off the list and walked away not saying anything and I stood there holding my pride.