Let me start off by saying I am not about to bash the private school system. I have been attending christian schools my entire life, and so much good came in the development of my faith and just learning how to be a decent human being in my elementary and middle school years within these institutions.

However, when I got to high school, I realized I was living in an unrealistic toxic bubble. After a while, it just made me sad and angry.

I went to two different private Christian high schools, and each of my parents were involved in teaching and administration at both schools. Long story short, I saw and learned too much. More than the average student should learn.

Between experiencing political agendas, corrupt administration and the loss of a Christ-centered vision, my heart ended up breaking from betrayal and turning cold to the idea of ever exposing my children to this contradictory learning environment.

I saw quality people get fired for no reason other than new administration wanting control over every aspect of the facility and bringing in their own people. I have seen the Church get involved with school systems where money is the main motivation for every decision made, not the Lord.

Now, one could argue that my situation differs from the majority, and they'd probably be right. The average student doesn't have their parents working at the same facility, or access to administrative information (a.k.a. behind the scenes gossip). But to that I say, unfortunately, these are situations I dealt with all throughout high school, and I can't help but have what I was exposed to affect my decision for my future children.

In addition, I've come to realize that if I were in a public school, more chances to be a light in darkness would have come my way. Sure, I would be completely naive to say that everyone at my school was a devote Christian, because that was not the case, but the difference is that in public school people are not authentically afraid to be their real selves.

Being judged for their sin isn't necessarily as big of a fear for kids in public high school. In private schools, if you are struggling with sin, the administration will most likely get involved in the problem. Which is their job. However, it's nearly impossible to be a light when the darkness is hidden.

I want my future children to understand that even people who work in Christian school systems and churches make mistakes, I just don't want them to find out in the heart-wrenching way I did, because it made me bitter. I have been out of high school for almost four years, and I still am harboring some bitterness in my heart towards administrations that let me and my family down.

That being said, my mother continually reminded me of something that I will hold close to my heart forever when I experience disappointment:

"It's a good thing we put our faith in Jesus Christ, and not in Christian people or the Church."