June is LGBTQA+ Pride Month; the month is a time for the celebration of identity, political and personal accomplishments, struggle, protest, and so much more.
As a gay man who has only been out since 2015 to friends, and since 2016 to everyone else, I have not had the "out" experience for very long, but it has been tremendously eventful and enlightening. At a pride event, there is such a wide variety of personalities and cultures that come together to simply have a good time.
From the outside looking in, the festivities can appear intimidating or even scary if you're an ally or someone who is still "in the closet" but the experience is worth it. This is only my third year celebrating pride month but it has been an adventure getting this far.
The first pride I celebrated was in New York City in 2016 with my boyfriend (at the time), my friend, and my friend's partner. I had never gone before and was always scared to for fear of repercussions. I feared that my family (who I would come out to less than 2 months later) would find out and I feared to be myself.
Growing up, you're trained by society to dial yourself down, that holding hands with another man is wrong and all eyes are on you.
Even during that relationship, I struggled with myself to let go of my insecurities and stop caring about what others thought. When I arrived to see the parade that day, I was glowing.
Never in my life would I have expected so many people to be going through what I had and yet be so happy still. People were out flaunting their bodies, their relationships, and their bold personalities without a second thought, and I loved it.
At that second, I forgot about who I was in the eyes of other people and I just was able to be me just like they were doing. For LGBTQA+ people, it's difficult to find yourself represented in society appropriately so finally witnessing others who were once scared like you feel so free was a liberating moment for my heart.
The following year, 2017, I went to New York City and Asbury Park, NJ pride. As some would say, I stepped up my pride game. This time, thanks to my previous experience and my own personal growth, I had no more doubts.
I could kiss someone in a crowd if I wanted to and I wouldn't fear because I was and am proud of who I am and how long it took me to journey to this point of stability.
I think a lot of heterosexual people underestimate why June Pride Month is so important to not only me but others. I work at a bank and we have lollipops for customers out in the open that they are welcome to take. Sometimes, depending on the month, we change the colors of the lollipops based on certain causes.
Recently we had blue for Autism Awareness month, and this month, my bank made the lollipops to be in a rainbow assortment in celebration of June Pride Month. I was actually really happy that this gesture, as small as it may be, was done.
It shows improvement in society and progression in acknowledging that we are normal and just as human as any straight people are. It's true that LGBTQA+ rights have progressed, but we still aren't where we need to be in terms of public perception. Going back to the lollipops, I knew right away that someone would eventually ask why we changed the colors because someone always does.
A man who regularly comes in eventually took a lollipop, noticed the colors, and said, "Wow, you finally decided to go with different flavors!" Unfortunately, at this bank, the different colors do not signal different flavors, so I let him know and additionally inputted that it was because we were celebrating pride this month.
He asked, "Pride? What do you mean pride?"
I continued onward to explain that it was LGBTQA+ June Pride Month (and then had to explain what the acronyms meant). His response? "Wow, how come they get a pride month, and I don't?" said the straight, white male. As a teller, I had to bite my tongue in how I wanted to actually respond to him, but I felt this was a good moment to educate.
I let him know that because he's a straight white male, he's never had to fear holding his wife's hand in public, being beaten to death, judged by others simply for who they like, and that he didn't deserve a pride month because as it stands, every day is pride day for him. His response was simply, "I don't even like my wife anymore." There you have it.
The inability to learn stands strong with those who choose ignorance over acceptance or knowledge.
One argument all too often heard by those who oppose pride month is that "gay rights have come a long way, you don't need them anymore," but how far is that really?
Rights are still limited for trans-gendered people and additionally, you have countless people who are murdered and beaten simply for liking someone of the same sex. That's not far and does in no way reflect that we don't deserve to have a month of dedication to celebrate who we are and what we've struggled and gone through to be alive.
Pride Month is about our stories culminating into a huge activist festivity that allows us to express how we feel about ourselves and the world, and only we have the right to say when we have been given the rights and treatment we deserve.
As a final friendly reminder, feel free to participate or observe June's Pride Month, but if you choose to condemn it, then just stay home because this isn't for you anyway.
