When I was younger, it was practically a ritual to rid all of your problems during your weekly appointment at the altar. It was at the end of service that the Pastor would announce his invitation to come kneel at the altar and basically vent to God, clearing your mental. WAH-LAH! Apparently, you were healed. I've heard women and men all over the church saying how they felt so much better now that they took all of their worries and fears to God, yet I wasn't convinced.
When I was 16, I visited a therapist weekly due to being a victim of domestic violence and abuse. During our first session, one of the first questions that was presented to me was "How do you feel about seeing a therapist?" Well, in all honesty, I thought it was a joke. I laughed, telling her that as an African-American woman, I was taught that prayer is your outlet. We don't attend therapy sessions just so someone can diagnose us as mentally ill, place us on medication, and let us carry on about our day. She looked me in my eyes and said "If you continue to look at me as if I'm someone who's going to diagnose you, versus someone who is trying to aid in protecting your mental health, you won't gain anything from these sessions," and she made a lot of sense. From that point on, I went to school sessions with the intentions of clearing myself mentally. The mind is a terrible thing to waste, and I can honestly say that as amazing as prayer is, it wasn't working in the time that I needed it to. No, this isn't me telling you guys that prayer is a terrible outlet; those are not my intentions. Prayer in my eyes should be accompanied by either professional help, or if church is the only outlet you prefer, then actually speak with your pastor.
The key here is to speak. I asked a friend a few questions in regards to mental health, therapists, and what she will teach her children, these were her answers.
How do you feel about visiting a therapist?
Visiting a therapist is one of the best ways to address our problems, especially with the stigma of mainstream media and happenings of today. Being surrounded by so many violent or unstable instances, it is best for some... Maybe even most of us to visit a therapist at some point in our lifetime.
As a child, what outlets were you taught in order to handle problems?
As a child, I was taught to vent to my parents when handling problems. I had and still have a very open policy with my parents, who have always welcomed my venting to them or seeking advice. I also found writing as a good way to release any frustration or emotional reaction.
Do you believe that African Americans are taught as children to "pray" versus seeing someone who could help with their mental health?
In some ways, yes, I believe African-Americans have gained a dependency on religion or spirituality for solving emotional or mental health problems in the United States, instead of relying on help from a professional.
Why will you teach your child in regards to protecting their mental health?
Protecting a child's mental health should be a top priority for an parent. By keeping an open-door policy as my parents did with me, and engaging in activities that cater to the mental health of my (future) child. I can only hope to be the best mother to him/her by providing what's best for mental health of the child, even when it comes to therapy outside the home. -Lenzi C
Very seldom do you see the upbringing of an African-American child being taught that if the open door policy doesn't produce results, that out of the home therapy is a method that will work just the same, if not better. I think we as African-Americans should do a better job at expressing to our children that it's okay to see someone professionally. There shouldn't be a fear placed on us as a people that seeking help outside of prayer is forbidden or frowned upon.
Seeing a therapist is one of the best things I have invested my time in, and hopefully after suggesting it to you, paired with research, you feel the same way after coming to the realization that sometimes childhood rules of kneeling at the altar doesn't always clear you of a series of events that could lead to mental illness.
