A Prayer For Those Who Are Newly Single
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A Prayer For Those Who Are Newly Single

Becoming single is no fun, and I'm here to give you some joy.

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A Prayer For Those Who Are Newly Single
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What you thought was going to be blushing, butterflies, and bunches of beautiful memories is now gone. In its place is weeping, wallowing and weeks of remembering those days and nights you had with the one you let go or let you go.

It happens.

People change their minds, make difficult decisions, or get tired of the same old, same old (lame excuse for a break up if you ask me).

I have been there. I have dealt with the overflow of emotions involving a breakup. I have had to make the difficult decisions. I have had to move on. I know it's not easy, I know it's not always a simple goodbye, and I know that it can be tough (really tough, actually). So here I am, giving you a piece of my past and my heart to help you.

So, you with the broken heart (or whoever is reading this), this is my prayer for you.

I pray that you find closure.

I pray you find the right time, the right way, the right motivation to step away from the memories, not forget that they happened, but to move on and not to dwell on the hurt, anger, and pain.

Closure is needed in order to accept the breakup, no matter who initiated it. For me, it was deleting years of memories and photos. Did I want to do it? No. Did I like to see them disappear into the void of the internet? The answer is no. I did it to accept the fact the relationship was no more. I cherish photos and memories and when they're still present, it seems like they're still present. I had to let go, even though it hurt.

I pray that you don't blame your ex.

I pray that you find true forgiveness for the one that hurt you. I pray that with the closure you get, forgiveness will come as well. I pray you won't have to be haunted by the heart crushing memories and think of your ex as a bad person, because they're a sinner, just like you.

You might feel betrayed, back-stabbed, or belittled, and you may have every right to feel that way. Please don't hold a grudge, don't point fingers, and don't stay angry. It hurts more than helps, trust me. I went through years of unforgiveness and it did me no good. I was constantly haunted with the hurtful memories and the anger that flared up with them. As a Christ follower, I became extremely humbled with the thought that Jesus forgave me. The selfish, lying, messy, imperfect girl was (still is) FORGIVEN eternally. The thought that I was withholding forgiveness from my ex, yet Jesus forgives me for each mistake I make, messed me up. It still messes me up and provokes me to think about my heart issue. Forgive them, and you will find freedom.

I pray you find joy.

I pray you grieve for a time then find joy in your new singleness. I pray you find joy in the Lord, in your girl/guy friends, and in your family. I pray your smile is rejuvenated, your eyes sparkle with gladness, and your step has a new hop.

Crying is okay. Being upset is okay. But when you let the sadness and despair control you, that is not okay. Yeah, it isn't easy to get over your first (or second, or third) love. I know that. I cried my fair share of sleepless nights and sucked in those tears with the reality of jarring life changes. Cry your tears, eat the junk food, workout, watch sad movies, but don't let your sadness, hurt, and pain control your life.

I pray you find peace and hope.

I pray you find the peace you need to be content. I pray that with the peace you also find hope. Hope for another relationship, for another guy or girl to come along, for another chance to feel butterflies. I pray that you can find the peace in moving on. I pray that you accept the peace that you need to feel hopeful.

Whether you need peace in your own chaotic heart and mind, in your other relationships, or in your life situations after the breakup, I pray you find it. I found peace in knowing that it wasn't my last relationship, that out there somewhere my Future Hubby (shout-out to him wherever he may be) is still waiting. My past relationships lasted quite awhile. From nine months to three years, it was hard to find solace in the fact that there would be other guys, other dates, other crushes. Let me tell you, there are other things to be hopeful about.

I pray that you take time to recover.

I pray that you become mindful of your own emotional, spiritual, mental, and emotional well being after the breakup. I pray that you give yourself time to be single and to get your priorities straight. I pray that you discover the aspects you need to fix before you enter a new relationship. I pray that if you did make a rebound that you check with yourself to see if it is legitimate or out of hurt and the need to be wanted and loved (which isn't a bad thing, we were created to be relational).

Give yourself time. As mentioned before, it's okay to have time to be upset, but still holding onto your past relationship then jumping immediately into a new one may not be the best and healthiest choice for you. I am a Family Studies major and my wonderful professor Dr. Bell teaches that each person should be independent and healthy in their own spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional aspects before joining with another person (who should also be equally healthy in each aspect). Take time to get yourself straight and stable before seeking out another partner. Also, a rebound date is both hurtful for the rebound and your ex. It can send the wrong message whether you mean it to or not. So, please, give yourself time.

I pray you will learn from the ended relationship.

I pray you take the past relationship and not look upon it with regret, but with a mindset of gaining more knowledge. I pray that you apply your past mistakes and use them to better yourself, your future, and your other relationships you have or will have.

Each step in life is a learning experience. Take your past relationship and learn from it. In my past I learned what I did and did not want in a guy. I learned to look for certain red flags. I learned to make sure I was healthy in all aspects of my life. I learned to forgive. I learned several important lessons as can you. So take the time to reflect and apply what you learned.

I pray that you feel loved and wanted.

I pray against the voices that tell you you are unloved or unwanted. I pray that you can find a wholeness in Christ, in your friendships, and in your family. I pray that you don't feel alone and I pray against the depression or loneliness that tries to take you over. I pray you don't feel the need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend in order to feel whole, loved, and wanted. I pray you are satisfied with being single and learn to cope with the breakup. I pray you find the love God has for you for it is so vast and unimaginable.

Being broken up with may seem like you are unwanted and unloved. But you are loved. There are family, friends, teachers, pastors, mentors, and coaches who are there to support you. Talk to them. Use them to help you get back up on your feet. They were placed in your life (or vice versa) for a reason, let them help. Add me to the list because I love you. As a sister in Christ, I love you and want you to know you are worthy, you are precious, and you have a purpose. No man or woman can fill the God shaped hole in your heart, don't try to fit them in that hole for the satisfaction is only temporary. God loves you and doesn't want you to suffer.

Not everything I wrote about may be applicable to you and your situation, and I understand that. You deserve to know that you are not alone and that you have someone praying for you. May this help you in whatever way you need it to.

Remember, you are loved and you are worthy.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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