Dugout is a controversial place to eat on campus. On one hand, you can take the food out with you; on the other hand, you can’t refill your drink. Also, the options range drastically. Luckily, I’m here to decipher the menus that slideshow just slightly too fast to be able to read them and rank the food at dugout from worst to best.

Absolute Worst: Anything in the Passport area that doesn’t require a passport

Disclaimer: On principle, I’ve never eaten any of these foods, so I don’t have the fairest judgment here. But there is NO reason for “Memphis” or “Texas” to be a “Passport” food when you literally do not need a passport to go eat there. It’s just dumb.

Pretty Bad: The other foods in the Passport area

Try to pretend like the orange chicken isn’t just leftover boneless wings one more time, Sodexo. And whenever I go down to Dugout and smell that the Mediterranean food is back, I cringe because that smell doesn’t go away for days.

Meh: Souper Salad

Nothing really offensive here, but really not all that great either. It’s what you make it.

Acceptable: Cactus Cafe

A white people version of Chipotle, which is already a white people version of Mexican food. Cactus Cafe is like when your family has tacos for dinner, but your mom is Irish and your dad is Polish. Overall, though, really not too bad as long as you put the right things in your bowl/burrito/soft tacos (the much slept-on best option at Cactus Cafe).

Pretty Good: Subconnection

The classic sandwich and chips option is the go-to for a reason. Reliable, as well as the only real option after 8 pm, Subconnection delivers an almost-Subway worthy sandwich. The only downsides are the perpetual long line and the fact that when you’re standing there waiting for your sandwich to toast it’s approximately 500 degrees Celsius.

Great: When Passport has Italian food

Nothing can come in between me and my chicken alfredo. The portions are huge so you’re actually full after eating it--unlike some of the other food from Dugout (looking at you, 6 inch sub)--and assuming everything is cooked thoroughly, it actually tastes good.

The Best: Wing Wednesday

Duh.