Well, it's been a few weeks now since the airing of this year's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show and women all over the world are finally climbing out of the self inflicted "funk" that comes from an hour of staring at women with perfectly sculpted bodies walking around in their underwear and fabulous gilded angel wings. The shame and guilt has begun to wear off; you've once again remembered why it is you DON'T go to the gym, and you've re-added carbs into your diet (you gave it a great try). I, like most women around the world, fell into the trap of awe, wonder, and self-loathing that most women encounter every year at this time. Mesmerized by the models' shiny, messy hair and their mile long legs, I too walked away from the television and took a look in the mirror and instantly began to compare myself to the women I had just seen strutting across the runway. After a few moments of fanning the fire of my insecurities, I walked away from the mirror and began to think long and hard about what I was doing.
They say that 95% of men struggle with feelings of lust, and the other 5% are lying. I believe we, as women are the same. Our struggle, however, is one of a different color, ours is that of comparison. We all do it, even when we are unconscious of it. We do it with friends, with family, and even with angels (the Victoria's Secret kind, that is). And it's not just about the bounciness of one's hair or the height of one's cheekbones that we like to analyze and contrast against our own. It’s our success, our things, our grades, our families, you name it, we do it. But why is this? Why is it that we continue to do this thing that makes us miserable or (even worse) makes us feel better only by pushing others down to do so? At the risk of sounding like a motivational speaker, I’m going to pose the idea that we women, the species as a whole, could be so much more powerful, so much more joyful, and so much more successful if we could stomp out this disgusting habit of making comparisons. Think about how much more enjoyable your day-to-day could be if you stopped worrying so much about what other people are doing, thinking, wearing, modeling and started focusing on being the best you that you can be! We would be such better friends, roommates, daughters, moms, or whatever it may be, if we could just step away from this paralyzing practice. I once heard a quote, “The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.” Just imagine the freedom we would feel if we believed that to be true! In helping a friend study for her sociology final last week, I learned something called the Thomas Theorem. This theory states that, “If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences.” This means we make our own realities. If you believe that the person you are today is the best you there is then there is no need to compare and contrast it to the lives of others. So go, clear your mind, put some curls in your hair and gloss on your lips if it makes you feel fabulous. You are an angel in your own right, your world is your runway, so go and work it.
