Dear Santa,

I hate you. Please crash your sleigh somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean.

Hate,

Me.

Anyway, I thought I'd write about yet another article bashing the holiday season, this one specifically about money. We all know money makes the world go round. If it was between 300 million dollars and trading your children...please get real.

We all know what you'd do. When whatever holiday comes around that you celebrate, all you see is signs, all you see is dollar signs. Time to make your Christmas list right? For some reason, 25-year-olds still expect Christmas presents from their parents.

Yeah see, I'm not like that. I feel like my parents have done enough. Now obviously buying presents for each other is some weird societal norm around this time of the year, but let me get real again. Can anyone actually afford any of this crap?

I get you really want a 1080p flat screen smart high-definition holographic transportation television, but I really can't afford that. Maybe shoot for something from the dollar store? Please?

I feel like the struggle is even more real for college students. It's the weird age where we don't write out our Christmas cards, but should still buy our relatives something, but still get presents from our relatives. It's just super weird. What IS the age we're supposed to write out our own Christmas cards? Hopefully never. The semester comes to an end,this year December 17th, giving us like three whole days to buy everyone we know Christmas presents. I can't afford college let alone buy presents for all my friends. That's a whole one friend! Just kidding, but I literally cannot.

When December rolled around the corner, I rolled my eyes and thought about my bank account. From -1 dollar, I would go to -2 dollars. That's right. I'm spending 10 cents each on all my friends and family. I mean, maybe I'll shell out on cards, but I'm taping the dime to the card. Happy Holidays! Maybe I'll do two nickels so it looks like I gave more. I'm so thoughtful :)

Obviously I think about myself when I go Christmas shopping. I never said you couldn't spend all your money on yourself. That's what Christmas should be all about. Spoiling yourself! Who cares about everyone else? I'm just kidding (I'm not). I wind up going to the mall, looking for a sweater for Dad or a cheap knock off bag for a friend, and come out of that said mall with 3 sweaters for myself and 5 knock off bags for me. Me, myself, and I are all that matter. I'm promoting self-love guys, come on.

I may be the grinch that stole Christmas (and everything else from the mall because I'm poor) but I obviously still buy gifts for everyone. In some weird way, it feels kind of good buying things for people to make them happy. Just imagine that face when they open up their own brand new plunger (it was used but they don't have to know). My favorite thing is when a friend opens up a gift I got them and they're like ":)" but I know inside they're like "..."

Anyway: give me my present!