Poetry On Odyssey: Funny Limericks

Poetry On Odyssey: Funny Limericks

Here's my first attempt at limericks!

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A little girl, while trying to tame her hair,

Cut too much off in her despair,

Said her hairdresser "You were too rash,

But I'll fix it for some cash."

But the girl had no money to spare.



Janice was always a bit rude,

But her friend Evan was ever so shrewd.

He knew she always spoke,

As if everything was a joke,

And everyone was in a perpetual bad mood.

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7 Things I Wish I Knew BEFORE Moving Into My First Apartment

I've learned quite a few valuable lessons in my first year on my own.

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Last Thanksgiving, I moved out of my childhood home and into my very first apartment. In the just over a year of "adulting," I've learned that I really had no idea what I was getting myself into.

Here are a few things I wish someone had told me beforehand...

1. Bill collectors don't mess around!

If you're as much as a few hours late on paying a bill, expect a letter dropped in the mail and/or an e-mail in your inbox notifying you about it. Stay ahead by keeping a calendar, and write in each bill's due date. Then, place the calendar where you will see it every day — either hang it on your fridge or leave it on your kitchen counter if it's a notebook calendar like the one I have.

If you are looking at the calendar several times a day — even if you are not sitting there and studying it — it becomes less likely that you will miss due dates.

2. The first of each month creeps up QUICKLY

Sometimes it will feel like you JUST paid your rent when it is already due again. Be prepared by having at least a few months' worth of rent saved up.

This way, you will never be late on rent, even if the first of the month catches you off guard (again).

3. It requires constant effort to keep everything in the house stocked

It isn't easy keeping track of everything from toilet paper and toothpaste to trash bags and laundry detergent. And their prices add up quickly! The best way I've found so far to try and not run out of everything I need is by keeping a grocery list and pen on my kitchen counter, right next to my trusty calendar.

When I notice I'm running low on something, such as dishwasher pods, I simply write it on the list. Then, when the list gets long enough, I bring it with me to Wal-Mart and try and get everything I need in one trip.

4. Cleaning is no walk in the park either. 

I am hereby acknowledging my privilege and saying I totally took for granted when my mom, and then the maintenance crew in my college dorm, cleaned my bathroom for me. In order for things not to get out of hand, I keep a handwritten list of everything in my apartment that needs cleaning. And when I clean one thing, I check it off.

Once every item on the list has a checkmark, I re-write a new list for next time. This way, I don't get overwhelmed by trying to clean every single thing in my house all in one day. Instead, I do it little by little when I have the time.

Sure, I'll have a cleaning day now and again, but more often than not I perform one cleaning task a day to keep up with it without tiring myself out after work.

5. You most likely won't get your security deposit back in full

When I first paid my security deposit, I thought to myself, "for sure I will get that back in full whenever I move out." But, I learned that life happens. I've dropped heavy objects and scratched up the wall. I've accidentally burned a spot onto my kitchen table with a burning hot bowl.

I've spilled things onto the carpet that I was unable to get out, even with carpet cleaner. I've also broken things by accident, such as my refrigerator door handle, and the pulley attached to my ceiling fan. I've come to terms with the fact that I won't be getting my security deposit back in full, and that's OK.

That is what it's there for, after all.

6. Coasters are not a want, but a need

When I was growing up, I thought people who insisted you use coasters when you visited their house were annoying. But now I understand. I harass my friends when they come over to always use a coaster. It prevents rings from appearing on the tabletops, which falls under the category of that security deposit we were chatting about earlier.

I recommend buying a pretty set of coasters from a shop like Marshalls. That way, the coasters are nice-looking, and they all match.

7. Housekeeping is a big responsibility

You can't just pick up and LEAVE if you want like you could with your parents. If you want to go on vacation, you still have to pay your bills. You also need to find someone to come care for your pets, bring in your mail, etc.

You are also responsible for turning off your heating/air conditioning when you leave and locking up your doors and windows. You may also be required to have renter's insurance, in the event any damage or break-in happens to your home.

Although housekeeping is a bigger responsibility than I anticipated, I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. I love having my own apartment, despite the expenses and stresses associated with it. It's the best decision I ever made, and not nearly as frightening as I worked myself up to be.

It is a wonderful journey I know you will do just fine on.

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A Modern French Revolution: The Yellow Vests Are Back To Serve Justice

To continue the good fight against Macron's regime of poverty and inflation.

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Written as a response to Alissa Rubin's New York Times article: France's Yellow Vest Protests: The Movement That Has Put Paris on Edge

In the late 1780s, French workers, starving men and women alike, rioted for bread. Today, they riot for gasoline. As President Macron fumes over the current tax situation while overlooking burning cars and empty tear gas canisters, the rebellion looks nothing short of the French Revolution, which transformed the social hierarchy seemingly for good. Yet, history repeats itself, the struggle of the working class, and Paris descends into chaos once more, with the Yellow Vest Rebels leading the way.

The Yellow Vest Movement Quill News// Facebook

The events appear in ideal parallels, exemplifying a desire for fair wages and tax cuts.

During the reign of Louis XVI, the elite lived lavishly, indulging on meat feasts, sleeping in the gold-plated walls of Versailles and relaxing in majestic fountain gardens. On the other hand, the bourgeoisie worked for long hours in factories with meager wages, only to be deprived of food and shelter due to inflation and sky-rocketing rents. With Macron, Parisians are facing the same struggles. Taxes on gasoline make up more than half the cost: prices around $6.00 per gallon. With the median income for France near $1,930 a month, rent, food, utilities, clothing and fuel, are struggles to cover.

In response, resisting factions develop. The Yellow Vests, petitioning against the hike in prices through modest protest or violent uprising, represent the Reign of Terror lead by Robespierre, which embodied the most radical spheres during the revolution. Furthermore, the symbolism advocated for the passion of the people — the tricolor flags and culottes of rebels are replaced by fluorescent vests and banners screaming anti-government slurs. As of now, Macron's response is disappointing to many: there will be no modification of the planned tax increases.

The current crisis of workers versus government is a lesson often reflected in history. It indicates some of the greatest disparities represented in society today. As France boosts world-renowned luxury brands such as Louis Vuitton, Channel and Dior, materialism flourishes in the high-class society of Paris, drawing attention away from the poverty and inflation that are reality. Therefore, problems such as high taxes go unnoticed until a drastic uprising such as the Yellow Vest Movement takes control.

Thousands gather before the Arc de Triomphe Yellow Vest UK // Facebook

The moral is clear: history is always a class struggle. Without a content middle class, prosperity halts, strikes take down the economy and anarchy ensues. Although such uprisings fracture the unity of France, they are also catalysts for greater change. Through struggle, patriotism, nationalism and democratic fervor, the Yellow Vest Rebels united, reaching a global audience never imagined. Like during the French Revolution, this movement will have rippling influence for others to speak out and take charge against corrupt government policies. Ultimately, only the value of voice can change Macron's policies for good.

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