With the stress of everything going on in life I decided to take a step back and reflect on when I feel so pressured by certain things, and with that why some of those more then others. Upon this reflection, I realized that I have continued to feel the weight of some of these expectations for my entire life, so I wanted to decompress about what I felt about this mental burden.
I had always been the oldest friend,
but then I met you.
You were the me I always had to be,
a foreign concept
Meeting yourself, yet sometimes it felt
I knew you better than me.
I could never thrive in the same way
yet all I could hear was praise you received;
and on I looked for you
Like water on fire
we shouldn't have been entangled
our existence reliant on each others yet never aligning
From the sidelines you watch
fire in your eyes
as I try to hold up the weight of all you left for me.
I am drowning
No escape in sight
yet I hear the others cheer on
They believe that I
My frail self
Can become more
than your shadow.
I seen myself
through an altered lens
and take the framework
from my face.
I am me,
And you are a stubborn grain of sand
I am standing in the sunlight
I am not in the shadows of your lurching figure
I am more than the expectations
that have weighed me down
I am alive,
and I will keep on living.