When I wrote this poem yesterday, I reflected on a lot of unresolved conflicts and troubles I faced before we abruptly left Penn State. People who know me are aware that I am very passionate about friendships, and I am very genuine and generous.
I had a friend that I met a year ago that really meant a lot to me. He was always my top supporter, always had something positive to say; he was like a brother to me.
Until we ended up working together on a business level, I started to understand why mixing business and pleasure is often considered dangerous. It ruined our friendship. I tried to own up to my own demons; at the time, I felt abandoned completely without proper closure.
It's been three months since the incident, and I continue to ponder about what happened.
Can't imagine how good it must be for you
To witness my retrogression with a blind eye
Cherish every beautifully dull part of your life
Without me
You didn't say goodbye
While I try to move forward from you
I'm still surrounded by false-hearted fragments
You left behind
Christmas cards on construction paper
Voice memos of us I thought I deleted
Photos of when we were unbreakable
And when I reminisce, it breaks me
You didn't say goodbye
That night I tried to find the sharpest object
To crave across my wrist
Trying to write an alternate ending of our bond
Over-analyzing your introverted intentions
Currently talking reckless for your attention
You lurk in silence, increase the tension
I loved you
Brother
For making me belong
You should have clarified that
I wouldn't belong to you
You didn't say goodbye
