The day you left was the day I promised myself that I would close this door forever.
A torrent of fire raged inside me,
For you left me without a goodbye.
In fact, you left me with nothing -
Nothing but lungs that were empty of air,
With the shattered remains of a heart that stopped pulsing,
With a soul that was lost and could no longer be found.
From there it took me months,
Twelve months, simply to feel again.
For it was not a feeling of wholeness,
Nor one of safety or security,
It was simply the feeling of being able to breathe again.
And now here you are,
Standing before me.
You yearn for me as I once did you,
When all I truly yearn for is to regain the ability to love.
Yet here I stand on this frosty December night,
On the doorstep of your former dwelling,
And you close the door behind me.
*Original publication of the Live Poets Society of New Jersey (December 2016).