The three words that taught me God does not have a singular intention: “This isn’t it.” A new Christian, I was seeking to explore the lone destination of my life—first things first though, I needed to identify this concrete landing place. Coming to Calvin College, speech pathology was the calling. I was sure of it. Three weeks into the introductory course, these three words spilled from my mouth, proving my plan faulty. The next step: hunt for my true vocation. Here, was the place where I realized I didn’t have one—scary, this was.

Though the innate perfectionist and planner traits still often seep into my daily journey, I am convinced God has concurrently planted me at the landing places of His choice, and I am not only tolerable of this, but onboard. After all, He is the Guider. You now may be questioning how one can be simultaneously docked at multiple harbors. I was too. I assure you it is possible, but only with the Guider I speak of. A landing place seems predominantly singular and permanent in nature, which is so, yet not entirely. God has docked me at academic harbors, relationship harbors, ministry harbors, leadership harbors—all at once. The ousting of a singular vocation is critical. The anchor will be yanked and I will drift to another season, docking there for some time, but that does not eliminate the fact that I was previously docked at another calling or vocation; this experience gained is the permanency.

Compassionate and determined being some of my most prominent traits, learning that I do not have to do everything was such a relief. An article by Rienstra and Rienstra states, “Putting a holy patina on everything can justify our demand to do everything, to be everything to everyone, to fall into the too-much trap our culture makes so tantalizing (6). After analyzing my life with a fine toothed comb over the course of this semester, I realized a majority of what I thought I was doing for God was actually for personal gain. I have always aimed to write for the Kingdom; now I yearn to write because of the Kingdom.

With this said, I am prayerfully trailing in the path that my Guider has set before me. A recent revelation—I desire to communicate in a fresh way that lasts. Driving in the car with my parents mid October, conversing about my future, an impromptu blurb came from my mouth: “I don’t want to add to a conversation, I want to start one.” I did not consciously know this is what I yearned to do, but now that it is unmasked, this is my ambition.

Although my vocation now seems to be being a student, this semester I have realized that it is not only about the textbooks. For instance, I disliked and struggled in the past five years of Spanish courses. Just a month or so ago, I babysat for a family that took in two foster boys who did not know a lick of English. It was the first time I had the opportunity to communicate with another using all the material I slaved over in order to sustain my GPA. Spanish is now so much more than a hinderance to my GPA; it’s a God given way to make disciples, as I am called to do. God docked me at a new harbor when I saw the boys light up when they realized although I did not look like them, I could still interact with them.

Figuring out what this multidimensional vocation looks like is no simple task, but God is in control. If it is in His plan, I long to graduate with degrees in writing, missions, and youth ministry. I long to write because I am a part of the Kingdom and aim to further it. I long to be a wife. I long to clean up juice spills, pack lunches, and read the same bedtime story an abundance of times. I long to travel to a third world country with my family to share the faith. I long to teach writing to youth while showing them what a neat guy God is. I yearn to take life, as Anne Lamott would say, “bird by bird.”