We all know those people who are just annoyingly naturally happy all the time. You know, those people who just seem to have the world on their side no matter what. They're the ones that just constantly walk around with smiles on their faces. They always have tons of friends, because well, everyone just loves to be around them all the time. Their laughter is constant. They never have free time because they always have someone to spend it with. Everyone always puts so much trust into them. They're super loyal, and unbelievably easy to talk to. They're the ones who are slow to speak, and very good at listening. They're the people in high school who knew everyone and couldn't round a corner without seeing someone they had to say hello to. Those people who bounced from group to group at Friday night football games simply because they got along with everyone. You know. Those people.
The funny thing is the more I describe those people, the more I describe myself. I am one of those people. But by admitting that, I can advocate that there is way more to those people than the front they put forth for everyone to see all the time.
Some people would tell me they are jealous of the lifestyle I live. I have friends galore. I have someone to hangout with every day, and sometimes I can't handle everyone who asks me to hangout at the same time. I have a wonderful relationship with my family. Cousins, mother, aunts and uncles — you name it, theres a 100% chance I have a great relationship with them. If I'm not with friends, I'm with family. I'm never alone. The truth is though, I have never felt more alone in my entire life.
I have built this happy-go-lucky reputation for myself. Not that I'm never happy, but the more I try to uphold that reputation, the harder it seems to be able to manage. The older I get, the more I question why I invest so much in other people. I have spent the majority of my life trying to be the "fixer." I have always put my all into everyone else. But the older I get, the more I realize I've been trying to fix everyone else the way I wish someone would fix me.
I have spent years burying the truth behind what makes me the person I am, and now thats becoming a lot harder to continue. Its almost as if my body is on auto pilot and I'm living in a haze where all I can do is watch what physical me does. Mental me has lost touch with who physical me has become, and now it is time for me to show myself the loyalty I show others and let the two figure out how they mesh together, because regardless of their differences, they're still me.
So next time you catch yourself feeling jealous of that happy-go-lucky person who walks passed you, take a moment and realize that there could be a lot more to them than you know. Let them be happy, and invest as much time as they need into everyone around them. Don't stop them from trying to be there for everyone they can be. Let them offer what they can, because they are only trying to figure out who they are.
But by all means, Please pay attention to those people. And if you can, offer yourself to them the way they offer themselves to everyone else.
